It’s the Worst That They’ve Seen, Can’t You See What They Mean

Crime-fighting, at least when it happens in Ann Arbor, “is overrated,” according to the National Post’s review of the Samuel Jackson vehicle “Jumper” (UK title “Sweater”— well, it should be) in which Hayden Christensen bends time and space in a desperate attempt to get out of A2. The Peterborough Examiner’s coverage at least evinces a little excitement for the Ontario town’s role in the movie: “Peterborough does not appear as itself in ‘Jumper’, but ‘plays’ the part of Ann Arbor, Mich.,” which is helpfully described as “a university city about 45 minutes outside Detroit.” But the movie has been more or less universally panned for its allegedly nonsensical plot; one critic grouses that Christensen “can only jump to a place he has seen or can adequately visualize … the script doesn’t say.” Clearly, this reviewer has never cast a successful 3rd-level “teleport self.”* In fact, if a city changes too much from when you’ve last seen it, it is generally impossible to teleport back there; this can be prevented only by a 4th-level “freeze in amber” spell.

* Sorry, 5th.

15 Responses to “It’s the Worst That They’ve Seen, Can’t You See What They Mean”


  1. So, was Ann Arbor too ugly to be shown in a movie? Too frumpy? I wonder what Peterborough Canada looks like…

    http://www.peterborough.ca/Home.htm
    http://www.festivaloflights.ca/

    Should everyone in Ann Arbor concentrate (or adequately visualize) and see if we can swap places with the folks of Peterborough?


  2. The real Ann Arbor was shown too, but, like Hayden, I guess they were in a hurry to get out of here.


  3. You had to do Van Halen? You couldn’t have gone with the Pointer Sisters?


  4. Ontario (especially Toronto) has established some kind of huge financial advantage as a place to film movie scenes. So not only is it cheaper to film a given scene in Peterborough than in Ann Arbor, but there is some kind of colossal tax incentive for doing so.

    Ask your friends in Toronto, and they’ll tell you about constantly tripping over cables and such because of all the movie-making going on around them all the time.


  5. Once upon a time when the Canadian dollar was worth $.70 US, a lot of Hollywood productions were filmed in Vancouver and Toronto. Now that the Canadian $ is essentially equal to US $, the Canadian film industry isn’t doing as well, even with the tax incentives Larry mentions.


  6. Toronto has also seen economies of agglomeration, as there are many freelance production companies that compete to contract with larger companies. I’d wager that Toronto is second only to LA in this regard.


  7. Good blog for Ann Arbor…

    http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/


  8. According to the Ann Arbor News, Ann Arbor does appear in the movie, just augmented with some Peterborough shots.

    http://www.mlive.com/news/annarbornews/index.ssf?/base/news-26/120300364345120.xml&coll=2


  9. Oh, man — white people are CRAZY about Wrigley Field. To the tune of $36 bleacher seats.


  10. Good thing that Michigan decided to hold out for its fair share of the pie instead of granting huge tax breaks just to attract jobs — if it were just giving the sweet stuff away, the state’s economy might be struggling like Ontario’s.


  11. Had to say it. Sorry Hayden Christ.

    …”David’s Jumpy lifestyle catches the attention of a shadowy organization called the Paladins, headed up by a snow-haired Samuel L. Jackson who looks to be carrying his lightsaber from Star Wars.”, sez the review. So shouldn’t you be noting–while you’re on the D&D kick–that in Dungs and Dragons (and the Tale of Roland, etc.), “paladins” are supposed to be the goodies, not baddies? Uh oh! Error! Error!!

    –As well, you could have done an “AnnaSophia Robb Is Overrated” title (she being a child actor in the film, I hear), but that might risk blowing out a server or something.

    D. Bo


  12. I guess the president of American says their’s going to be a state of emergency declared. Something about “rumors on the internet.” I thought maybe D.Bo or Anna could give some insight. Word on Da Street is you guys have pretty active imaginations.


  13. No, not George W. Buffoon, but Darth W. Vader, might declare the emergency, the little bird tells me. Galaxy-wide, too. There’s a guy called “Obama-Wan Kenobi” or something, who is threatening a forceful rebellion…..

    You know who Darth V used to be, of course, before he teleported/jumped out of Anakin Arbor, whoops, Ann Arbor, to become the worst delinquent at Jedi Academy…

    dB


  14. He was also awesome in Shattered Glass (which Slate’s critic describes as “Saw for journalists”). That was probably the perfect role for him.

    (Also recommended for being possibly the only movie ever in which a character utters the phrase “The New Fucking Republic.”)


  15. “Should everyone in Ann Arbor concentrate (or adequately visualize) and see if we can swap places with the folks of Peterborough?”

    Doesn’t anyone else remember the Arborough Games?
    Man, I wanted to play in those, but I wasn’t really very athletic. If there had been an Arborough Spelling competition, I would have OWNED.

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