Cool, Calm and Collected
The latest NIMBY project (yeah, we know that a lot of you are fans of traffic “calming”) has a champion with a name almost too good to be true: Larry Greenway. Mary Greenbelt and Joe Parkthatsjusttheretostopdevelopment couldn’t be reached for comment.
“The traffic calming program has existed since December 1999, said Homayoon Pirooz, chief engineer for the city’s project management unit. It was revised in early 2005 and tested for a year before being permanently adopted, he said.”
“Homayoon Pirooz” is a pretty cool name too, actually.
posted by David Boyle on July 8th, 2006 at 12:59 pm eFor some reason I couldn’t help thinking of John Redcorn from “King of the Hill” when I saw that name.
posted by Jeff Dean on July 8th, 2006 at 4:35 pm eThe City of Ann Arbor should be commended for implementing the new traffic calming device on Creek Drive. It actually feels like a neighborhood street now… imagine that! People even walk and ride their bikes down the street. Before the traffic humps were constructed the majority of the traffic consisted of people either going 55 mph or going slow while listening to their ear piercing bass rap music.
posted by Jane on July 10th, 2006 at 12:08 pm eWhen I have to get my brakes replaced twice as often, can I send the bill to the City?
posted by Emily on July 10th, 2006 at 1:58 pm eMaybe the best idea, like those mentioned on the humor site that was http://www.annarborpublicschools.org (or was it com? for communist) should be to lower all the speeds on all roads excluding 14, 23, and 94 to 25. That way, we won’t be driving fast enough to kill anyone, we won’t be having to spend money on these rather useless speed humps (as a driver/owner of an SUV, I would know, and I have even seen other teenage drivers in sedans blow over these humps) and other road altercations. Think of the money we’d save! We could probably fix up a few of the roads too.
posted by Alexander Tang on July 10th, 2006 at 2:11 pm eI would like to sign up for some traffic calming bumps too! It amazes me who will speed through their own neighborhoods. They say cul-de-sacs are the worst for bad driving in your own yard. Your breaks will last just fine if you lay off your accelerator and it saves gas $$ too!
posted by eileenie on July 10th, 2006 at 8:25 pm eEvery time I go over a speed bump on a public street I honk my horn. If I have to deal with the hassle of driving slowly over them, the people who wanted them have to deal with my noise.
posted by js on July 11th, 2006 at 5:23 pm eThough, apparently, that evil Negroid rap music seems to curdle the blood of these folks too, based on comments above…
From the Ann Arbor city code:
“The driver of a motor vehicle shall, when reasonably necessary to insure safe operation, give audible warning with his horn but shall not otherwise use the horn.”
Relax, take your time, enjoy your tunes.
(Or ditch the car–with my weight on the pedals I can take the Broadway speed bumps pretty fast.)
posted by Bruce Fields on July 12th, 2006 at 11:20 am eOur street recently installed the new calming devices after going through the city’s new process. It took about 9 months before approval but everyone got a vote - of course majority rules. And I have no sympathy for anyone’s breaks or undercarriage if you plan to speed over these humps. Kids live on these streets and there is no reason to not obey the speed limit. That is usually why neighborhoods resort to these calming devices. You would not believe the arguments those who voted “no” had, including they had the right to drive as fast as they want on their own street with no regard for the safety of others. We now sit on our front porch and enjoy the view of those who choose to speed over the humps and bottom out their car as opposed to following the many posted warning signs. Makes for interesting entertainment.
posted by lm on July 12th, 2006 at 1:56 pm e“I have no sympathy for anyone’s breaks”
I brake for breaks.
posted by Bruce Fields on July 12th, 2006 at 6:30 pm eI’m generally opposed to exteme traffic-calming devices like speed humps… if they are needed, it’s probably a sign the street was designed too wide in the first place. Narrower streets, two-way traffic, onstreet parking, street trees, short setbacks, bike lanes, bumpouts, pedestrian activity, etc. is the best traffic-calming approach.
Of course, we’ve effed-up our built environment so much over the past 50 years that, uh, maybe we’re stuck with speed humps in many cases as the most feasible (and affordable) tool.
posted by Brandon on July 12th, 2006 at 9:58 pm eI used to live on a street with speed bumps. They were the absolute worst! Problem: As soon as the car crawled over the bump, the engine was gunned and they raced at top speed for the next one. Happened 90% of the time.
They are ineffective as traffic-calming devices and in my opinion are intrusions on public streets requested by selfish individuals.
posted by Robert Moses on July 13th, 2006 at 12:42 pm eThey’re the devil when driving a stick shift, and I wouldn’t object to them so much if I could take them at 15 mph. I have a feeling that the poster above who had no sympathy doesn’t realize that you don’t have to speed to damage your car on them. But then, moralistic morons seem to be the type to encourage these anyway…
posted by js on July 13th, 2006 at 4:06 pm eMy next gripe: The folks around me that put bricks in their leaf piles while also taking up half the goddamned street with them.
posted by js on July 13th, 2006 at 4:07 pm eA relative of mine lives in an older Maryland suburb, a block away from a residential street with a long downhill straightaway. Teen drivers and a few graying juveniles would sometimes use that stretch of pavement to play with engine horsepower. After complaints from parents on the street and a slowly growing body count of neighborhood pets, the speed bumps went up.
The difference over there is that when you enter the street from either end, you see an attractive sign that says “Calming Zone.” Immediately, stiff shoulder and torso muscles begin to give way to a deepening sense of relaxation. The chest sinks in a little as breathing comes more slowly and easily. One lets go and lives more in the moment. By the time the first calming bump appears a block later, the sudden up & down motion, instead of causing a mild jolt, creates a tension-releasing massage effect on the back as the car seat support pushes against it. By the time the other end of the street is reached, petty resentments have fallen away. You drive off, having had a small brush with inner peace.
Thoughtful signs like these provide therapy that’s fit for a New Age, but with an urban twist and on the cheap. No Windham Hill records playing in the background, and no need to shell out $75 per hour. Unless the shocks do go out on the old Toyota.
posted by hale on July 13th, 2006 at 8:13 pm e