Call for Secession
There are two equally annoying factions with competing visions of what Ann Arbor should be. First, we have the artsy types (one could call them “yuppies”, but yuppies are supposed to have some style) who tout A2’s sidewalk cafes and galleries and fairy doors and gourmet pet stores. Then there’s the “town not city” folks, who exalt the Ann Arbor of decades ago and its allegedly unpretentious small-town charm, lamenting the demise of otherwise unlamented local businesses.
You might be compelled to root for the second group, since they’re obviously losing (although both groups scorn development) but it gets harder to justify after reading something like this letter in today’s News:
I propose we all move to a small patch of ground somewhere near a river. We will bring Thano and the Lamplighter, The Old German and Metzgers, Mast’s, Dascola’s, Marshall’s Drugs, and Drake’s, too. Ehnis & Sons, Schlenker’s, Stein and Goetz, Quality Bakery, Campus Theatre, Follet’s, Kresge, The Bagel Factory and Campus Bike & Toy will be there, too. We will have no restaurants where you eat on the sidewalk. Coffee shops will offer donuts. We will buy Strohs at Beer Depot.
And Franzia at Bello Vino? Whatever you say about yuppies, at least they appreciate good beer.
We will found a state university that will be eccentrically preoccupied with scholarship.
Scholarship? We like that, although we thought that the University of Michigan was already doing a pretty good job, what with all the research and stuff they produce.
So what will the benefits of this scholarly institution be?
Children will sneak into the gym on Saturdays to play basketball and no one will care. Our football games will start at noon and end at 2:30. At half time you can get in for free. Kids will stay until dark to play on the field.
Okay, so basically it’ll be a free playground for local kids.
We will leave Ann Arbor to our entrée-buying, sidewalk-eating, cappuccino-sipping, cell phone-talking, laptop-tapping, SUV-driving, can’t-find-a-parking-space whining, high rise-developing, Art Fair-wrecking, every-Saturday-in-the-fall flag-waving friends.
The people who sit outside at Main Street Ventures restaurants are not, of course, interested in developing high-rises. But since that’s the worst thing you can accuse anyone of in A2, it has to be thrown in there somewhere.
This person probably masturbates to “Leave it to Beaver.”
posted by Parking Structure Dude! on June 15th, 2006 at 12:07 pmDon’t knock Stroh’s.
posted by Brandon on June 15th, 2006 at 1:40 pmSeriously, AAIO, do we really need two Ann Arbors to bash in this small world? I though one was obviously enough. It would have to become a full time job! But I have to say that lately I’ve begun to (gasp) miss the place a bit. Maybe the truth is I miss the people. I don’t know, maybe I’m just delusional right now. Anyway, hi to everyone. Mandrake
posted by DrMandrake on June 15th, 2006 at 1:50 pmheh.
I love this site.
posted by OFWinsurgent on June 15th, 2006 at 3:17 pmthanks, OFWi.
Hey, Mandrake, don’t go soft on us now. By the way, I think you removed it, but I’d love to read your Found Magazine post again.
posted by ann arbor is overrated on June 15th, 2006 at 4:23 pmHey, what’s the matter with Stroh’s? It’s not too bad and it’s what we can afford after we pay our A2 property taxes. Seriously, though, I’m a working class girl who grew up here (and does lament the demise of quite a few of those businesses) but I also understands the necessity/inevitability of change. A2 has changed a lot, though, and I can’t say it’s all for the better.
posted by andrea on June 15th, 2006 at 4:25 pmAnd I believe it is the U’s focus on research, research, research that the LW is referencing…as a grad student, you’ve gotta see that.
I’d have to say I find the 2nd group more annoying than the 1st. At least the 1st group is living in a century consistent with the calendar on my wall.
My question is: why don’t these folks all go live in Dexter? It seems to be exactly what they’re looking for.
But again, that’s Ann Arbor for you. Complaining about change is much easier and more satisfying than trying to enjoy any aspect of it or working to affect its course.
Oh, and hola, Mandrake. I can relate to missing many people back in A2, but I can’t say I’ve been able to work up any nostalgia for the place just yet.
posted by Nick on June 15th, 2006 at 5:14 pmYeah, I can’t say I have much sympathy for either A2 lifeforms. Frankly, I’d like to live in a town that can actually accomodate living, rather than eating faux fancy food and buying culture.
posted by Nancy Shore on June 15th, 2006 at 8:17 pmArt fair-wrecking? I haven’t heard about this activity. Isn’t the AAPD prepared to dissipate the anger during the Fair? How broad is this wrecking? I’ll tell my mom to avoid the Fair.
posted by michad328 on June 15th, 2006 at 8:56 pmWhen he says “…leave Ann Arbor…”, does he mean go out of town for game day, or does he plan to move? Because I do the first, but don’t plan to do the second.
posted by JCP2 on June 15th, 2006 at 9:29 pmAlthough not related to the current blog entry, I thought AAIO would have something to say about this article:
posted by gi99 on June 15th, 2006 at 11:11 pmhttp://www.cnn.com/2006/US/06/15/naked.suitor.ap/index.html
Proposing naked is a risk in and of itself, has to rank as a 8 or 9 on the ol’ risk scale. And i’m guessing our naked beau falls into the “artsy” category of ann arborite, just to tie it all together.
posted by Tim on June 16th, 2006 at 3:24 amI’ve been here my whole life (I’m nearing 40 now), and I swear since the day I was born, people have been longing for the Good Old Days of Ann Arbor. When WERE the good old days? People are so freakin’ lazy. It’s way easier to complain and dream about a better place than to actually work for change.
Ann Arborites, if you want A2 to be something that it’s not… DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Fantasies are fun, but action makes change.
A final note: I do miss The Beer Vault (and The Beer Depot), but there ARE other places to get beer. Stroh’s ice cream was nothing to write home about. Drakes? Please. That place was always lame.
posted by yerboy on June 16th, 2006 at 7:15 amThe burgers out of the little window in the back at Drake’s were NOT lame at all, and the Martian Room upstairs was beyond comparison.
posted by Michael McC. on June 16th, 2006 at 8:11 amback in the day, we really had something to be nostalgic for …
nostalgia just ain’t what it used to be.
posted by peter honeyman on June 16th, 2006 at 8:27 amFrankly, I suspect that person just wrote that letter to be insufferable to YOU PERSONALLY, AAIO. Talk about your target audience. It’s too perfect.
For the record, I did not find Drakes to be lame, and the Lameaid was delicious. And why didn’t the letterwriter mention the youthful exuberance of kids sneaking peeks at the novelty items in the window of the Velvet Touch? I’m confused about that.
posted by Nitro on June 16th, 2006 at 9:59 amWas the Velvet Touch the porn shop on 4th? If so, I miss that place. I also miss the party store that was next door. In fact, over the last ten or fifteen years, the steady and precipitous decline of party stores and liquor stores in the downtown area is what I most lament. I can think of six or seven just off the top of my head. Sigh….
posted by Parking Structure Dude! on June 16th, 2006 at 10:30 amHey Yerboy,
posted by KBlow on June 16th, 2006 at 3:41 pmAre you the actual Yerboy originator? You know, I still got my “Yerboy” shirt from the 1990 Halfass JP Tourney. A buddy of mine here in Portland has a working Joker Poker in his basement. Sometimes we make Spanjos….
all i know about the porn store on 4th ave (i swear!) is that it was owned by (world renowned) mathematics professor frank harary, who literally wrote the book on graph theory!
posted by peter honeyman on June 16th, 2006 at 4:02 pmYep, it’s me, the “OG” Yerboy
Although, Martin was sort of my better half back then. I miss him.
Been making shirts again if you need a new one. I still have all the old screens. Here’s a link on the local chaos site with some pix:
http://forums.cscar.umich.edu/localchaos/mb/board1/566.html
Can you take a pic of that shirt you have and send it to me? I don’t have one of those. Those were the first “mass produced” yerboy shirts.
Oh and as for lamenting about The Good Old Days in Ann Arbor… I miss Joker Poker *sniff*
posted by yerboy on June 16th, 2006 at 8:09 pmI stumbled across your site a little while back and have since read a few posts every once in a while… and you keep coming back to this idea that everyone calls Ann Arbor “the Manhattan of the Midwest”. Now, I’ve gotta say, I’ve lived here for twenty years and I’ve never heard ANYONE say that. I’ve asked around and I haven’t found anyone else who has ever heard that either… nor does Google come up anyone else (besides those who seem to be quoting you) insisting that either… so, uh, out of curiosity, where are you getting this idea?
posted by a2native on June 17th, 2006 at 12:40 amIt ain’t the Big Apple, but George Will did refer to Ann Arbor as the “Athens of the Midwest.”
http://aad.english.ucsb.edu/docs/feb1.html
posted by Peter on June 17th, 2006 at 2:09 pmI’ve definitely heard people say “Manhattan of the Midwest,” but unfortunately, I don’t have any written sources.
posted by ann arbor is overrated on June 17th, 2006 at 2:59 pmThe porn shops were owned by Dwight Wilson, who was deservedly run out of town on a rail.
posted by Barnkitty on June 17th, 2006 at 10:37 pmThe Capitol Market’s provenance is somewhat more murky.
Athens of the Midwest is historical. I think half of it was a joke that went back to the staff of the grad library before The Age of Out.
This is my home town, and I think Manhattan of the Midwest is absurd, and I’ve never heard anyone say it. It used to be that Main Street was dark after 8:00 pm, except for a couple of bars.
posted by Michael McC. on June 19th, 2006 at 9:15 amI’ve never heard Manhattan of the Midwest either, but I have heard “the world comes to Ann Arbor” which is nearly as pretentious.
posted by OFWinsurgent on June 19th, 2006 at 9:40 amWhy, just this weekend I said that Ann Arbor was not only the Manhattan of the Midwest but also the San Francisco of the Midwest. Admittedly, I was joking. But I did read something about Berkeley, CA, this weekend that sounded a lot like Ann Arbor–Cody’s Bookstore going out of business, and everybody there has a theory–from limited parking to conspiracies. So maybe we’re the Berkeley of the Midwest.
posted by Young OWSider on June 19th, 2006 at 10:23 amAAIO -
So I hate Found Magazine. I think it is put together by a bunch of talentless schleps and bought by the kind of idiotic assholes who infest Ann Arbor with their lack of sensibility and taste. I met one of the dudes who started it once, and he is the kind of New York artsy hipster transplant that, after talking to him for five minutes, you have the overwhelming desire to tear off his penis and send it into Found Magazine third class by way of Burma so that it can’t be reattached. It would at least do the world a favor by preventing him from reproducing any found spawn. I mean, the magazine is just boring. I really don’t care about some stupid love note some idiot wrote to some other idiot and some other idiot found. I believe half of what goes in there is stuff people just make up and send into Found.
The rest of it were images I found on my hard drive. These have been deleted by Michigan’s servers.
posted by DrMandrake on June 19th, 2006 at 10:30 amNo, it’s the Mad Hatter of the Midwest.
“it’s always tea-time, and we’ve no time to wash the things between whiles…
posted by Nitro on June 19th, 2006 at 10:32 amHey, wait a minute - in Iowa City, they call it “the Athens of the Midwest.” Do we need a committee to decide this thing?
posted by Ian C. on June 19th, 2006 at 12:17 pmWe’re for sure the Berserkely of the Midwest. Madison is the only contender, and we have a higher weird factor.
posted by Michael McC. on June 19th, 2006 at 12:28 pmI’ve heard “Manhattan of the Midwest” from my father - usually in a sarcastic/ironic sort of fashion. I doubt he’s ever seen this site, so I doubt it entirely originated from AAiO. He spent 8 or 10 years living here in the late 60s-early 70s.
posted by Anonymous on June 20th, 2006 at 1:47 pmCount another regional native as never having heard the term “Manhattan of the Midwest” prior to visiting this blog. Never heard “The world comes to Ann Arbor” either, BUT I did see an actual person wearing that “Paris, Rome, London, Ann Arbor” shirt over the weekend. Now THAT is pretentious.
posted by Dave on June 20th, 2006 at 3:47 pmPerfumed ass-crack of the midwest.
posted by Morbidly Midwestern on June 20th, 2006 at 4:04 pmHere’s a recent quote from Gary Shteyngart:
“Where I live in the Lower East Side what the locals call the JPs, the
Jewish projects, on Grand Street its a very diverse community and it
still feels like New York, but in a lot of other places I do feel a kind
of Ann Arbor creeping in.”
http://www.thevillager.com/villager_161/forlesnovelistgary.html
What does that mean?
posted by AnnArbor Mishuganer on June 21st, 2006 at 11:40 amFairy doors sighted above 14th Street?
Tall building moratoriums?
Tell me where in NYC can you get a small house for under 200K?
In the UFNWS- unhip far newer west side -where I live, you can.
I think Leopold’s sells their gin there
posted by OFWinsurgent on June 21st, 2006 at 12:55 pm“Ann Arbor creeping in” can only mean the JP’s are becoming fake-ass, boring, whitebread, “liberal unless it might in any way, shape, or form lower my property values”, and full of asshole NIMBY mofo’s who wouldn’t know good urban design if it came and took a huge shit in front of their stoop….That, or they’re building a greenway.
posted by KBlow on June 21st, 2006 at 6:49 pmIt must bother somebody else that the old-ann-arbour nostalgists take their cues from the howard dean smear campaign (take their latte-drinking, volvo-driving, etc etcing back to vermont!)
posted by buzz on June 21st, 2006 at 7:23 pmJesus, KBlow. Take a pill.
posted by Young OWSider on June 21st, 2006 at 9:33 pm“Jesus, KBlow. Take a pill.”
You mean like Soma? Becaue I think they’re putting that in the bottled water.
KBlow pretty much nails it in one-hundred words or less.
posted by Parking Structure Dude! on June 21st, 2006 at 10:39 pmI’ll drink to that, KBlow.
posted by Pants Rule on June 21st, 2006 at 11:23 pmYuppies are NOT artists!!!!!
Yuppies are the twits who THINK they are artists cause they applied some feng shui to their living rooms and maybe took a trip to taos once with a real live $50 set of windsor brand inks, which stayed in the box!
artists have a lousy rap because of these foul specimens. they also lose their housing, galleries, gathering points, and communities really regularly because of them. wanna know why all those chipper young art students are wearing gas station attendant togs these days? cause they’re scared the landlords in whatever neighborhood they live in will look out the window and go”A-HA! Artsists! I’m gonna DOUBLE THE RENT!”
ann arbor has had a handful of amazing artists- from many tastes and generes- pass through. also incredibley well-read and inventive scholars, maverick genius scientists, innovative activists and social progressives, journalsts, the works- because it was cheap and good here.
Thus a bunch of talentless bozos with lattes and the lot have MOVED IN so they can scrape up some of the glory! never mind that alot of those real artists went on to lives of impoversihed semi-stardom followed by decades of forgotten exploits and constant gentrification flight. After all, the developers and yuppies and jerks all got themselves a Piece of the Action!!
Of course the OTHER group of people who hate artists are the ones who are ALSO talentless, but weren’t rich enough- or smart enough- to grow up to be yuppies. they clutch their less-expensivo coffees in the morning, cursing starbucks and the natily dressed jerks going inside, secretly wishing they were lucky enough to be able to spend $4 for a coff-eine fix- or that they’d actualy had the where-with-all to DO something with themselves. . . . i’ve lived here ages now, and anyone who thinks artists and yuppies are the same people can go right oput with the rest of the riff-raff.
oh YES i’m calm, GOD i’m calm. . . .
posted by marya on June 22nd, 2006 at 1:35 amOh how I suffer for my art! (pass the absinthe)…
posted by OFWinsurgent on June 22nd, 2006 at 7:53 amAh, yuppies, artists, townies, and students. I’m starting to wonder if the only thing that would make all you Ann Arbor people happy is Jim Crow-like segregation.
posted by Nick on June 22nd, 2006 at 5:11 pmI think that it is ironic that they accuse yuppies of complaining about not being able to afford a parking space, when it is the yuppies (I’m guessing) who are responsible for restricting parking. There are so many “no-parking” signs in places like the old fourth ward that don’t seem justified by safety or other considerations. There does seem to be a yuppie element in this town, which thinks this college town would be so much better if not for those pesky students.
Another problem seems to be the jacking up of rents all over town, which make it more expensive to live here, and are also responsible for hurting some of the small businesses, like the People’s Food Co-op (have you seen the prices there lately? hardly a “people’s” place anymore, and it’s all because of the ridiculous rents charged in this town), which are the last bastions against the growing corporatization of America.
posted by Larry on June 27th, 2006 at 2:09 pmThis is such a strange concept for a site. Its inherently absurd because it turns on the idea of complaining about a place that is lived in by choice. These comments would make more sense if they came from people who lived in the Ann Arbor jail or something. The rest of you should just move. Although, I feel most of you realize that no matter where you go, you’ll find something to gripe about. If you want to live with more artists, check out the Ann Arbor homeless shelter, I’ve heard its really nice. If you want cheaper coffee, may I recommend Folgers. If you want less yuppies stop responding to flash advertisements for new cars and most of them will be out of work. That said, some of this stuff is pretty funny.
posted by claus on June 28th, 2006 at 5:33 pmThis is such a strange concept for a comment. Its inherently absurd because it turns on the idea of complaining about a site that is visited by choice. This comment would make more sense if it came from people who posted to their corporate intranet or something.
posted by Bruce Fields on June 28th, 2006 at 6:11 pmAnn Arbor, A2, The Manhattan of the Midwest, Athens of the Midwest… sorry folks. The teens (next generation) call it “Ace Duece”. So allow me to shuffle through all the comments here… I think what I’m reading is that you all, honestly, love everything about this ol’ town of ours (except for claus). Come on… admit it.
posted by MjC on July 4th, 2006 at 1:53 pmOh no!!!!!
Now we have fairy cars!! what next? Fairy AATA?
see today’s Michigan Daily
http://tinyurl.com/fsm7t
Look out Big Three- maybe they’ll open a factory next to Google
posted by not fair on July 17th, 2006 at 1:20 pmre: fairy cars
posted by Busrider on July 17th, 2006 at 1:25 pmI’d have to agree, I often wait for the extremely late or nonexistent AATA bus so maybe Ann Arbor does have an invisible fairy bus?
“I often wait for the extremely late or nonexistent AATA bus”
Which route is that?
I take the #2 more or less daily, and I think the only times I’ve seen it “extremely late” (like, by more than few minutes) have been during snowstorms.
I’m not saying they’re perfect, but the AATA buses seem mostly pretty reliable to me….
posted by Bruce Fields on July 17th, 2006 at 4:39 pm12 UM -
much of the time really off schedule
the #2 is the most on time route
posted by Busrider on July 18th, 2006 at 11:49 amhttp://www.43places.com/entries/view/1088957
OMG- here’s someone who read about fairy doors on the web & wants to visit the little places!
angelforlife
Bellingham
Why I want to go to this place — 4 weeks ago
I just read about the Ann Arbor Urban Fairies tonight online (http://urban-fairies.com/) and was so enchanted with the idea that I’d like very much to go and see these little places.
Aug 10, 10:03PM PDT 1 cheer | 0 comments
posted by notfair on September 14th, 2006 at 3:03 pm