A2: Dream or Nightmare?

This month’s Observer prints a piece by a man who was ready to leave the Deuce after a series of harrowing events. “My wife got caught in a football-Saturday traffic jam. My daughter had an altercation on the school bus…Ann Arbor was still a dream, but it was rapidly becoming the sort from which you wake up screaming.” And he hasn’t even mentioned the traumatizing ordeal of going to Whole Foods and having to park on the side of the shopping center that’s closer to Walgreens.

But then he saw the Arborland “A” and reconsidered. Or something. “Suddenly, I worried it wouldn’t be the same if I had to drive twenty minutes to see B.B. King at Hill Auditorium…It wouldn’t be the same, because then I would be a visitor.”

48 Responses to “A2: Dream or Nightmare?”


  1. That piece was thoroughly surreal, to hilarious effect. Too bad it’s not online for all to enjoy.


  2. Good lord. I can’t wait to get my Observer! People are crazy. Seriously.

    Sweet Jeebis, help us all.


  3. It’s a draw for me on the most entertaining Observer article this month: either this one, or the article about the woman who left three bikes unlocked, and had three bikes stolen, and was considering locking up the fourth.

    Well, I thought the first two were just flukes, and I couldn’t imagine someone would steal my bike, even after checking out the Old West Side in last month’s Observer Crime Map, so I bought another. And then, well, then it was the last straw…


  4. He’s a visitor already. The B.B. King show was at the Michigan Theater, not Hill.


  5. Shocking. And he’s not even lived through Art Faire yet.


  6. I so need to get my Observer in the mail. These articles sound priceless!


  7. He must have lived through ye old Arte Faires because he said he’s been here for eight years.


  8. Oh noez, a Saturday football traffic jam. The horrors of having a popular sports arena in a populated area instead of out in the boonies. He should try driving anywhere near Fenway when the Red Sox are at home. At least football games are only once a week, for a relatively short period of time, and you always know when the traffic’s going to be bad.


  9. Driving near Fenway (or pretty much anywhere else in Boston) is horrifying, even on non-game days.


  10. Well, yeah, you pretty much can’t drive in Boston period and remain sane. I should think that’s a given, like the blueness of the sky. I just meant in pure crazed sports fan vehicular traffic congestion.


  11. At least the T is there. No such luck in these parts.

    Everytime I drove anywhere in Boston when I lived there, I got a parking ticket. I managed to escape Beantown despite $500+ in parking tickets before they slapped the boot on my wheels.


  12. One of my favorite quotes:

    “Where, I wondered, woud I find the sort of neighbors who band together after a storm and snow-blow every driveway within five houses (and yes, that includes the crabby old man)? Who could replace the teachers who go so far beyond their job description, recognizing and praising my children for accomplishments years after they last instructed them?”

    Well, if you add on babysitting each other’s kids and banding together during a three day blackout and for Halloween candy duty, I guess my SE Michigan suburb would qualify. I must’ve grown up in a statistical anomoly, because it sounds like he’s saying that it only happens in Ann Arbor.


  13. … and ironically, I don’t lock up my bike in the suburbs, yet my brother’s tire’s gotten bent while locked up in AA.

    Ignorance-bliss must be so fun.


  14. No irony at all… Your bike is safe while unlocked in the ‘burbs because you are one of the very few riding such an undesirable (in the ‘burbs, that is) contraption. This is not unlike the radio on my front porch here in Ann Arbor - which bears a label clearly reading “Does not receive NPR” - that has never been stolen.


  15. I’ve never understood the “OH NOEZ DRIVING IN BOSTON” crowd. I’ve driven all over Boston a handful of times, and it seemed like driving in any other older city. I mean, Christ, do you people not understand roundabouts? The only place that I’ve seen that would have me fairly spooked (though I haven’t driven in it) is Rome, and that’s from a couple of harrowing taxi rides (apparently, the trolley tracks are an extra passing lane). Boston just seemed over-puffed with that reputation, sorry.


  16. “Where, I wondered, woud I find the sort of neighbors who band together after a storm and snow-blow every driveway within five houses (and yes, that includes the crabby old man)? Who could replace the teachers who go so far beyond their job description, recognizing and praising my children for accomplishments years after they last instructed them?”

    I think he’s talking about Fort Collins, CO. Since when do people in AA clear each other’s driveways? I never saw it when I lived there; so far as I could tell, even asking people to shovel the sidewalk in front of their home was too much.


  17. Not when you’re younger than 15 years old, in the suburbs. Then it’s damn near essential to have a bike, because with things as spread out as they are, it’s going to take you a mile just to get to the 7-11 to get a Slurpee. Hell, during the summers we’d have groups of 20 riding in the middle of the street on a trip to the water park. It was our own little underage Critical Mass.

    Course, you could say the parents would notice a shiny new bike, but the OWS woman also has a decent chance of noticing someone riding (one of) her bike(s) around campus. Especially since, in theory, the bike(s) should’ve been registered - not so in most of the suburbs.

    Roundabouts - I get ‘em, even though I’ve never lived in a city with them (I have driven in DC, Toronto, and a handful of other places with them). The problem I have is that if one person doesn’t know what they’re doing, not only does it screw things up for everybody else, it also endangers them. Especially when someone in the center of the circle decides they’re going to cut across three lanes and turn right, and can’t wait for one more rotation (or you to get out of the way) before doing so.


  18. Now I’m picturing an overly polite and considerate driver who is driving continuously counterclockwise in the inner circle of a Boston roundabout.


  19. Look, kids, Big Ben! Parliament!


  20. It’s just a flesh wound.
    Nothing to write home about.


  21. O frabjous day! My Observer came yesterday!


  22. “I must’ve grown up in a statistical anomoly, because it sounds like he’s saying that it only happens in Ann Arbor.”

    Actually, I just think he’s saying that he likes Ann Arbor.

    AAIO is overrated,


  23. “Where, I wondered, woud I find the sort of neighbors who band together after a storm and snow-blow every driveway within five houses (and yes, that includes the crabby old man)? Who could replace the teachers who go so far beyond their job description, recognizing and praising my children for accomplishments years after they last instructed them?”
    Well it does describe my neighborhood. I woke up Christmas morning a few years ago to two of my neighbors shoveling my snow, in dawn’s early light. I count my blessing for my ‘hood’. Oh, and we watch out for each other’s kids and gather regularly for fun. We shared the blackout times too.

    About roundabouts, they are no more wicked than when someone doesn’t follow the program on 4 way stops, or worse when traffic lights are out and not working.


  24. Traffic SUCKS!


  25. logtar, I quite agree. Especially now with spring contruction season upon us. It is quite discouraging to get stuck in these back-ups all over town. It again underscores the need for more public transport, not less. Last summer, when hosting a European exchange student, she expressed shock and dismay at our lack of buses and trains. Imagine riding a hgh speed train to Detroit or to Ypsilanti for an evening entertainment.


  26. Actually, the one article in the Observer about how difficult it is to get around town without a car actually was decent, short as it was. Even in the immediate area - it’s mildly frustrating trying to get from the Main Street area to North Campus on a snowy Sunday. Mildly.

    And a high speed train to Detroit… oh, don’t taunt me. It’s cruel.

    I doubt it considering the title of this site, but does anyone know if there’s been updates about a light rail running down Woodward? I know Ferndale was pushing for it - and it’d be a start in the right direction, at least. If at least one decent project is completed, at least naysayers couldn’t just keep pointing to the People Mover as reasons why we shouldn’t attempt decent public transport.


  27. Light rail on Woodward would totally make sense….unfortunately, not much else in the way of mass transit can work in this broken landscape. the People Mover is a total joke.


  28. There is no high speed train to Detroit because it would need to run both ways. If it can take you there it can bring “them” here.


  29. Actually I think it has more to do with the fact that such a train would never pay for itself (realistically, few people around here would ride it), at least until gas prices are about $7 per gallon.

    …and even “they” have cars dude. What a silly comment.


  30. Trains — or any public transit — never pays for itself. Even in places where there is a lot of transit use, say Chicago, fares are required to cover about half the operating costs. That’s why service is cut or fares go up when ridership drops or when government aid doesn’t keep up with rising costs. Of course, higher fares usually mean fewer riders….

    As much as I’d love a train from A2 to Detroit, I can’t see that there’d be enough ridership to justify regular service….especially if it doesn’t stop AT (instead of someplace fairly closed to) the airport. I think a Pontiac to Detroit line would make a ton more sense. At least there’s the population density that would give it a fighting chance.


  31. Why wouldn’t it stop at the airport? I thought that was what the idea was centered around. Even if the AA-Airport-Detroit line usage only peaks around vacation times, I still see that line getting more use than a Pontiac-Detroit line. The vast majority of people who would need to commute around that area already have their own transportation (except for the poor souls who depend on DDOT/SMART).

    In Ann Arbor and Ypsi there’s still a good number of students (amongst others) without cars, or with cars that they may not want to take into Detroit for a night of drinking or to the airport to park for an extended period of time.

    I can see a Woodward from Royal Oak to Detroit line getting some use, maybe, but if it goes all the way to Pontiac there’s going to be an awful lot of dead stops inbetween.


  32. People love their cars, especially around here. I have to agree with mj64 that it would never be self-sufficient, but just another tax drain on everyone for the benefit of the few people who used/wanted it.


  33. The reports I’ve read have the A2-Detroit train stopping somewhere near the airport, but not at the terminals. It would be more like Baltimore, where you’d have to get off the train and hop a shuttle. I think that would decrease the number of people who’d be willing to take a train. Transit studies always show that the more interruptions/transfers you force people to take, the fewer riders you’d have.

    I’m also not convinced there would be enough students wanting to pile on a downtown Detroit train regularly to make the system viable. You’d almost need a real peak usage time around the rish hours…and then somewhat steady usage the rest of the time.

    But how often would the trains run? One of the busiest train lines in Chicago runs from Aurora in the western burbs to downtown — from a county of more than a million people into one even more populous. But after rush hour, they run one train an hour and it isn’t usually very full.

    I hate to sound negative because I don’t like to drive and would love to be able to take a train to Detroit. I might use it a couple of times a month, though, at most. I work in A2 and live in Dexter. I can’t even get a bus to work from here.


  34. “…just another tax drain on everyone for the benefit of the few people who used/wanted it.”

    You know, that’s kinda how I’ve always felt about, for example, highway construction….


  35. js, what the heck’s a roundabout? Thereabouts we call ‘em rotaries. :P I’m from MA, I have no trouble at all with the circular road bits. The problem comes with a city where the roads are changing so constantly that there is literally no accurate map of downtown anymore (thank you, Big Dig), and the traffic that, at rush hour (hours) can leave you sitting in one spot for far longer than your entire commute should take.

    Plus, due to the Big Dig, they’ve been closing all access roads in a certain direction after midnight lately. I can’t even describe how many times this past summer I literally could not get out of the city because of this, and spent three or four hours just driving in circles past massive clogs of equally confused and irate people just wanting to drive north.


  36. Yes I suppose it was a silly comment. I was thinking along the lines of the cheap and extensive subways that connect major metropolitan areas. It would be great to hop on an underground rail to go from State St to downtown Detroit, but it would also bring inner city Detroit to A2. I just assumed that the fella mentioned in the article might have such a concern.


  37. ” ‘…just another tax drain on everyone for the benefit of the few people who used/wanted it.’

    You know, that’s kinda how I’ve always felt about, for example, highway construction….”

    Bruce has a point. Over most of the past century the auto industry has been subsidized to a $$$ tune beyond what most of us can imagine. What if, for all these years, the auto manufacturers had needed to use revenues from their vehicle sales to cover all the costs of paving, re-paving & grading of all the roads, as well as for the construction of each & every freeway bridge? Alternately, what if half of all the government road money had been going instead into subsidizing mass transit?

    Beyond the huge ongoing subsidies, the auto companies over the years have also colluded in the elimination of functioning mass transit (such as the once-respected Detroit trolley routes) and the successful obstruction of viable system proposals (more than one serious attempt was made to build a Detroit subway system between the ’20s & ’40s).

    I have a bit of chip-on-the-shoulder regarding this topic, as a former Detroit kid who whiled away time on some winter afternoons waiting & waiting at west side bus stops, until it arrived at last with Godot behind the wheel. Thought then that this sort of thing was normal, until later experiencing actual, meaningful transit systems in places like NY, CHI, DC, SF — and even Winnipeg!


  38. Repaving the roads doesn’t do much when weight limits aren’t enforced. I always bought the “it’s because our weather’s so odd, water gets under the road and freezes and expands” explanation we were given in school until I started driving through Ontario. Same weather, pretty roads.

    I’ve seen the Detroit trolley run - I think during the Techno festival one year they broke it out, if my memory’s correct. It was adorable and horribly sad all at the same time.


  39. “Repaving the roads doesn’t do much when weight limits aren’t enforced. I always bought the “it’s because our weather’s so odd, water gets under the road and freezes and expands” explanation we were given in school until I started driving through Ontario. Same weather, pretty roads.”

    Same with Ohio and Indiana. The interstates in those states are immaculate. Of course, they have turnpikes to help with the cost, and Michigan doesn’t and will never have one.


  40. Anyone who doesn’t think public transit can happen in Detroit should consider the example of LA. As car-focused as the city is, we have a nice little light-rail system that sees a ton of use. And this in spite of (a) the engineering challenges created by building subway tunnels in an earthquake-prone area, and (b) the fact that it definitely lets “them” get around (you can ride Metro to places like Old Town Pasadena, Universal City Walk, and Hollywood and Highland right from South Central). So it is possible.

    And you can take it to within a couple miles of LAX and hop a shuttle. Which is far preferable to those $50 cab rides I remember back in Ann Arbor.


  41. But LA has something that Detroit doesn’t have to encourage people to give up their cars: endless, brain-numbing traffic. I’ve gone into downtown Detroit fairly often at 8am and been able to do 70 almost the whole way from A2. I-696 can be a drag, but I don’t think a lot of people would pile onto a light rail to work in Detroit — and I don’ think there are that many people out this way who work where a light rail would likely take them.

    Again — I’d love to see one, but I don’t see how it would be viable.


  42. I agree, rail to the airport would be awesome but Detroit seems out of the picture for now. For the record, I have taken the train to Detroit (it ain’t cheap, about $17) and you end up in BFE (New Center).

    And even though I love Detroit (for reasons that are inexplicable), you can shoot a fucking cannon down just about any downtown street after dark and not hit anyone. It’s a ghost-town. Until that changes, I doubt it’s going to be much of a rail destination. Reality bites.


  43. Re: Detroit to Ann Arbor rail–I think it’s possible with Federal money. No, for the first few years ridership would be on the low side. The idea is to jump-start the option of traveling regularly between Detroit and the suburbs, or even simply among the suburbs (don’t forget this line would include not only an airport stop, but also a stop in Dearborn, and it will at least study the possibility of a direct bus line between Ann Arbor/Detroit and the airport–a line that AATA has been interested in before, but the airport wants to charge them a “parking” fee that it can’t afford. I’m sure it has nothing to do with the Metro limousine service.) Over time it would hopefully help to develop better city/suburb connections, and boost business locations nearby the rail stops, in turn helping to fund it further down the road.

    I agree, though, that it makes the most sense with an Oakland County line, at least.


  44. Mike wrote “That piece was thoroughly surreal, to hilarious effect. Too bad it’s not online for all to enjoy.”

    Actually, I know the author and it is, aside from a few details, all too real.


  45. mj64, to be fair, as long as you avoid the 405 and the 10, LA’s traffic isn’t that bad.


  46. We subsidize highways (why not more rail) by millions in constant repairs. Then we let heavy double tractor trailers drive them full of holes over and over again, facing more of the orange barrels. It is a vicious cycle.


  47. Correction: We subsidize corrupt, incompetent road commissions. If all the money budgeted for road repairs actually went to road repair, we’d have fucking highways of gold.


  48. Maybe gold would last longer on our salted MI roads!

Leave a Reply

It sounds like SK2 has recently been updated on this blog. But not fully configured. You MUST visit Spam Karma's admin page at least once before letting it filter your comments (chaos may ensue otherwise).