ann arbor is overrated.

This month’s Observer prints a piece by a man who was ready to leave the Deuce after a series of harrowing events. “My wife got caught in a football-Saturday traffic jam. My daughter had an altercation on the school bus…Ann Arbor was still a dream, but it was rapidly becoming the sort from which you wake up screaming.” And he hasn’t even mentioned the traumatizing ordeal of going to Whole Foods and having to park on the side of the shopping center that’s closer to Walgreens.

But then he saw the Arborland “A” and reconsidered. Or something. “Suddenly, I worried it wouldn’t be the same if I had to drive twenty minutes to see B.B. King at Hill Auditorium…It wouldn’t be the same, because then I would be a visitor.”

As if A2 property management companies weren’t getting enough bad press lately, today’s News “Police Beat” column carries an item about a woman who reported being groped by a manager when she went in to sign a lease. “She said he made her uncomfortable by standing close to her and making a comment about thong underwear on a dryer…The woman said the manager told her he wanted to show her something, then pulled her into a room, shut off the lights and began kissing and groping her.” See, there are still leases available in March.

Craigslist CEO and A2 native Jim Buckmaster tells The New York Times about the nightmarish winter in Ann Arbor that made him rethink his choice of careers. “One winter I lived in an informal housing arrangement. We decided we would spend the winter with no heat…I made my own mittens out of old purses from a thrift store. I was also making my own bread and grinding my own soybeans to make tofu.” But he hasn’t left the A2 aesthetic behind entirely; he lists his favorite author as Noam Chomsky and his favorite director as Ingmar Bergman.

Now that the early leasing ordinance has passed unanimously, landlords go out on a final note of incoherence, threatening befuddling forms of retaliation — sorry, expressing their concern that other landlords may retaliate in a befuddling manner. But none of their proposed scenarios represent much of a change from the current system; it’s already common practice to rent apartments out from under the current tenants.

“Ideally I’d like to hear someone I’d recognize,” says one LSA senior of this year’s graduation speaker. “It would be nice if we had someone decent…we should be able to get someone with a name,” complains another. The speaker does in fact have a name, though, and a pretty cool one: Christiane Amanpour. Perhaps these seniors should graduate next year instead, after some remedial journalism classes.

Well, if you hadn’t heard the rumors that were making the rounds yesterday, it’s official now; 5th Ward city council member Wendy Woods, who defeated apathy in last November’s hotly contested race, will be launching a primary challenge to Mayor Hieftje. Her stated reason for running, “a need to get more people involved in city government,” isn’t all that informative. But we question whether students are among those that she’d like to see involved in a meaningful way; Woods has consistently taken a paternalistic view of students, suggesting that an off-campus housing complex should have residential advisors to keep an eye on the tenants and opposing an outdoor festival sponsored by a bar on the grounds that some “young people” tend not to be “responsible.”

Now that we’re going to be seeing “full-scale greenway” activists running for council, it’s time for a competing vision: the 1/1000-scale greenway movement. The 1/1000-scale greenway movement will call for a five-foot-long greenway in the City Council parking lot.

Of course, there are some people who will oppose this plan as too costly, with its loss of a parking spot. But we must stand up to these people, because it’s the only way the fairies of this town will ever be able to enjoy green space.

The latest “Other Voices” column in the News praises the Calthorpe recommendations’ potential to stop sprawl, while urging restraint in their implementation. “In areas of town where current zoning already allows buildings of six to eight stories, cumulative density entitlements would result in changes to the area’s character and charm.” From where does this perspective of moderation and clearheadedness derive? “As a resident of bordering Lodi Township, I visit Ann Arbor daily,” the writer says.

The “Friends of the Frieze” will be holding a protest Monday to “prevent Ann Arbor’s historic landmark from being demolished.” But if they were really the Frieze’s friends, you’d think they could find a somewhat more flattering picture than the one they used on their flyers. Maybe they’re really more like the Underminers of the Frieze (”the best friend who casually destroys your life.”) “Hey, it really sucks about you being demolished and all, but that doesn’t mean you have to let yourself go like that.”

“Police pursue boot camp fugitive in Ark.” Which seemed like a perfectly normal A2 headline to us; there’s nothing like a little light acoustic folk after a harrowing prison escape. But it turns out that “Ark” is actually Arkansas. Well, at least tell us he listened to some “All Things Considered” on the way down there.