Party Patrol Returns

As violent crime in Ann Arbor appears to be on a sharp upswing, the AAPD sits down with the News and talks about one of A2’s most important crime problems: underage drinking and parties, “a primary complaint that neighborhood groups have when we meet with them.”

10 Responses to “Party Patrol Returns”


  1. Only 25 violations for urinating in public? This is a crime? I call it my contribution towards watering the greenway.


  2. I guess I picked the wrong weekend to schedule a party and two music festivals.


  3. I was so angry when they all of the sudden started breaking up parties in April, after not doing anything of the sort all year.


  4. I hope they leave us old coots throwing parties alone.


  5. I think the problem is all the pedophiles. Whether trying to snatch children, and thus getting shot or beat down by the parents at the time, or having been identified by expert forensic psychologists, these vermin are violence magnets. Furthermore, as so many of them are young single men, having been shouted down in public while trying to flirt with their female peers, such men can become violent and strike out in anger against people they think hurled the insults. Plus, they are constantly supplying alchohol to the underage drinking set in a mad effort to bring forth the deviant sex acts they desire. Finally, this frequently leads to suicide, another serious crime.

    To all you “old coots” who think throwing your underage drinking parties is no problem, you are going to have the police knocking on your door sooner or later. That’s if you’re lucky, because the police will probably respect your rights. Wait until the word gets out. You will leave town in ruins. And you know what we’re talking about.


  6. Uhhh…


  7. parody?


  8. I tried to research exactly how serious a crime suicide really is, but couldn’t find any convictions in Ann Arbor or Washtenaw county. Does anyone know what kind of penalty you could get if found guilty of suicide?

    Perhaps we could discuss this at my party tonight… All are invited - bring your freshmen sisters.


  9. where’s the party?


  10. I would suppose Planter Person would want to know if you mean college freshmen or high school freshmen….

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