ann arbor is overrated.

Townie Party

Apropos of the pre-Art Fair “Townie Party,” the News attempts to define who, exactly, is a “townie.” The partygoers they interview set the bar pretty high. For one thing, you can’t leave, even for a little while. “You don’t go away in the summer and you don’t even go away for six months,” one resident says. And you have to be so wrapped up in A2 that even a trip to Novi takes you out of your “comfort zone.”

81 Responses to “Townie Party”

Are we allowed to go away and then come back and resume our townie status?
posted by srah on July 19th, 2005 at 12:29 pm
Never mind. Now I’ve read the article and those people scare me.
posted by srah on July 19th, 2005 at 12:36 pm
Well, Novi does suck. But still…
posted by Dave on July 19th, 2005 at 1:00 pm
It’s OK - you’re really only a townie when you park behind the courthouse evenings and such.
posted by Scott on July 19th, 2005 at 1:05 pm
What distinguishes a ‘townie’ from a ‘hick’? A college or university in the area for contrast? In Montana, they used to deny business licenses to out-of-staters because the “natives” (what anyone born in MT calls him/herself, despite a 5% native American population) needed jobs more - and clearly foreingers were there to usurp. Nevermind that businesses create jobs… I guess xenophobia takes all forms.
posted by Heidi on July 19th, 2005 at 1:32 pm
You’re only a townie when:
You’ve learned to love the Chenile Sisters.
You’ve purchased tchotchkes from Occassionally Gift Shop.
You reminisce over the ’60s, while working actively to undermine their values.
You think that an anti-Bush sticker and time at the Humane Society makes you an activist.
You resent college students.
You’ve filed noise complaints about your neighbors.
You’ve supported a ban on porch couches.
You believe you’re entitled to a neighborhood parking permit.
You wistfully compare Ann Arbor to Manhattan, while making sure that no building rises over four stories.
You buy artisinal anything.
You drive a Volvo SUV.
You’re quick to defend the University, even though you never went there.
You know the names of five local fiber artists, but no musicians.
You think a vibrant night life ends by 11pm.
You think Arbor Brewing has decent food.
You enjoy any of the Main Streat Ventures restaurants.
You’ve eaten Zingerman’s more than once a week, without working there.
You’ve only been to South U. once, and didn’t like it.
You think being a “townie” is somehow important or validating.
posted by js on July 19th, 2005 at 1:36 pm
I love you, JS. [p.s. Kelly Caldwell is playing my house tonight]

Novi does make me uncomfortable, whatever its worth.
posted by Brandon on July 19th, 2005 at 2:00 pm
here is an idea … you _actually_pay_ taxes here …

and no, i do not live in Ann Arbor anymore so I do not pay taxes here anymore - unless they pass the income tax for those who work here.

I thought the “townie” party was a rather lame idea. I have been around here for 75% of the art fairs, had to work around them at times, and have been a fair percentage of them. It is just part of being here, like M football Saturdays and Zingermans being overpriced and overrated. It just is ….

any
posted by any on July 19th, 2005 at 2:58 pm
Doris Sprentall and Sandy Bailey spent more than an hour huddled in front of the stage, waiting for the rain to stop.

I can’t believe they totally just dropped Doris and Sandy’s names like that.
posted by Real Big on July 19th, 2005 at 3:16 pm
js I think you just described the dda, not a townie. I’d probably be described as a townie by some. I drive a yellow cab, not an suv. I fought the couch ban, I know ton’s of local musicians, despise the new main street, worked at VC (on south u) for several years. And on and on. The really vibrant nightlife starts about 215am, you should come to the afterparty next time you’re invited.
posted by JD on July 19th, 2005 at 4:03 pm
JD: Are you inviting me to an after party? (I went to high school here, remember the Del, and used to work at Tios. I actually like it here, I just think that a lot of the bullshit that people pat themselves on the back for as defining “townie” is pretty weak. It’s the smug superiority of people who can’t stand being in Novi because it might remove some of their class priviledge that get to me).
Brandon- I’ll see if I can get over there. I’ve got a co-op board meeting.
posted by js on July 19th, 2005 at 5:37 pm
a trip to novi should make anyone uncomfortable
posted by dan faichney on July 19th, 2005 at 6:10 pm
i think a townie is someone who went to high school here.

which means i am not a townie but my kids are and so is their mom.

i went to the townie party anyway and did a great imitation of a soggy weasel.

yes, that was me.
posted by peter honeyman on July 19th, 2005 at 6:56 pm
Although taxes are paid directly by homeowners, renters have taxes passed on to them through their rents. Renters also pay consumer taxes. So, I would have to say that describing a “townie” as someone who pays taxes does not hold water.
posted by outside on July 19th, 2005 at 7:16 pm
Well, I guess since I ate at the A&W on Stadium once and graduated from an Ann Arbor High School, that makes me a townie. Except that I live in Ypsi. I dont know if there are any Ypsi townie tests but I dont think there are. If you live here, you’re pretty much a townie. I bet you could just say you’re an Ypsi townie and folks wouldnt mind even if you dont live here.
posted by lynne on July 19th, 2005 at 7:22 pm
Doris Sprentall was my 6th grade Home Ec teacher and lived down the street from me…Does that make me a town-e?
posted by jt on July 19th, 2005 at 9:43 pm
I live here in a house that I bought, but don’t stick around for football weekends or the art fair. I also don’t work for or go to the U as a student. Does that make me a townie?

P.S. I have a sticker on my car for the Metroparks.
posted by JCP2 on July 19th, 2005 at 10:28 pm
a townie is someone who is sick of those lame bands they cart out every year. the chenille sisters?!! is this 1983?! or maybe a townie is someone that can tolerate the mind numbing cyclical sameness of ann arbor culture. did mr b make an appearance?
posted by dr diag on July 20th, 2005 at 12:27 am
I think a townie is simply someone who lives here, but doesn’t work at or attend the university. The article was a perfect illustration of the full-of-themself attitude of so many people here. You’re only a townie if you never leave A2? I think that makes you shallow and sheltered…not a townie. You going to tell me there’s a huge difference between Novi and the Washtenaw shopping strip, or Briarwood? It’s all dull sprawl.
posted by mj64 on July 20th, 2005 at 6:45 am
Quality work, js
posted by HNG on July 20th, 2005 at 8:29 am
I was disturbed one day at the alarmingly high percentage of houses I walk by on my way to work that I used to live in, or have at least crashed at, over the course of the past 13 years.

I’m moving in 6 weeks though, and will escape this townie brand.
posted by Chris on July 20th, 2005 at 9:41 am
I have nothing to add with respect to what particular test should be used to determine “townie” status, but I do feel really sorry for anyone who would aspire to such a thing … after three years in this hole I’ll be moving on Friday. Condolences to those of you left behind … I’ll be sure to pour some of my 40 for ya.
posted by Jodasm on July 20th, 2005 at 10:05 am
I remember when the Chenile Sisters were featured in a local commercial for the AATA, singing “Ride the Ride” which is now stuck in my head after reading this thread. I’m not sure if that makes me a townie or just a sign of my needing mental assistance.
posted by Jack on July 20th, 2005 at 11:57 am
Fine list, JS. It’s not just the idea that being a townie is important or validating - it’s the idea that being indistinguishable from everyone else around you is important or validating. If I knew nothing else about Ann Arbor that would tell me a lot.
posted by Nick on July 20th, 2005 at 12:08 pm
It seems like a lot of self-described “townies” from the article think that Ann Arbor should be sealed from the rest of the world, like the town at the beginning of Hoeg’s “The History of Danish Dreams.” As for the noise complaint, JS, it’s pretty tough to chastize students who decide to call the police because a group of 15-18 year old kids is screaming, drinking, and urinating at 2:25 A.M. right outside their windows two nights before a 7:30 A.M. test (professional or academic). Not that I was one of those students, or anything. But still, I empathise…
posted by Ann Arbor Expat on July 20th, 2005 at 1:17 pm
Speaking of people taking themselves way too seriously……..
posted by LR on July 20th, 2005 at 4:22 pm
In deference to the master redneck. (I am not (fox) worthy!)

If every other sentence you say starts with, “I was listening to NPR the other day…”, you might be an Ann Arbor townie.

If you have a “No Blood for Oil” bumper sticker on your Ford Excursion, you might be an Ann Arbor townie.

If your best pickup line is “I, for one, am opposed to the oppression of women through the restriction of bodily movement imposed by the implicit threats violence in our patriarchal society, so can I buy you a drink?”, you might be an Ann Arbor townie.

If your idea of formal dress is to change from your Birkenstock sandals to your Birkenstock clogs, you might be an Ann Arbor townie.

If you’ve ever parked illegally to acquire a second parking ticket in one day, so you can break even at Zingerman’s, you might be an Ann Arbor townie.

If the church you attend advertises sermons that suggest that you wear loose fitting or comfortable clothes, you might be an Ann Arbor townie.

If you’ve ever gone on a second date with the expressed intent to seek closure, you might be an Ann Arbor townie.

Ah, sweet, sweet, franchising.
posted by Alan Gutierrez on July 20th, 2005 at 4:49 pm
Actually, it’d be a Volvo SUV… Annarbour townies wouldn’t be caught dead in an American car.
posted by Brandon on July 20th, 2005 at 8:25 pm
What constitutes an “American” car? Volvo is owned by Ford, and Chrysler is owned by Daimler-Benz. Many GM and Fords are made in Canada, and many Hondas and Toyotas are made here. This doesn’t include where all the parts are made. Anyway, most of the gas in the tanks is derived from imported oil.
posted by JCP2 on July 20th, 2005 at 10:13 pm
Well, I have an interesting “townie” story. Both I and my fiancÃ© moved to Ann Arbor 4 years ago for jobs. We have nothing to do with the university. We were crossing the border at Niagra Falls to get back into the US after driving across Canada to Syracuse and the following happened (with a US borderguard):

Border Guard: “Where do you live”
Me: “Ann Arbor, Michigan”
BG: “Go to the university? Work at the unversity?”
Me: “No and No”
BG: “What do you mean? How can you live in Ann Arbor and not be affiliated with the university”
Me: “I guess I’m a ‘townie’”
BG: “Yeah, uh, can you pull over there for more questioning?”

More questioning followed, until finally we convinced him that we weren’t in Ann Arbor for nefarious means. How dare we tread on such hallowed ground?
posted by beth on July 20th, 2005 at 10:22 pm
Volvo SUV? Ha. More like a Volvo wagon.

Actually there’s a guy at work who shares the same disdain for Ann Arborites that many folks here share. He came up with the typical Ann Arbor Saturday.

Muffy and Todd pack the recycables in the back of the Volvo wagon as they pack Chelsea and Tyler in the backseat. First they drop Chelsea off to ballet practice and Tyler at Soccer Practice. Then they drop off the recyclables at the recycle center. Then they go to Whole Foods to do their shopping. Then they come back to pick up Chelsea and Tyler.
posted by Kozzie on July 20th, 2005 at 10:28 pm
Alan, did we ever get closure?
posted by Anna on July 20th, 2005 at 11:06 pm
(W)hole Foods really sucks for shopping. The parking lot is too small. The aisles are too narrow. A lot of things are really expensive (not just the food). It’s actually a souless national chain. And the annoying woman sampling the cubes of cheese stands right in the middle of the aisle without moving until she finishes chewing, thus subjecting me and several other people to her cell phone conversation. Happens to me whenever I go. Curse you, cheese cube tray!
posted by JCP2 on July 21st, 2005 at 6:49 am
I grew up in a university town, not too far from here, one with years of sharp political tension between students and homeowners. Yet I don’t recall anyone calling themselves, or being called, a “townie”, except as a joke. Even now, “East Lansing townie” sounds like an oxymoron to me.

Local newspapers sometimes used “town and gown” in headlines about political disputes, but that term had an Olde English feel to it. Many of the homeowners were professors, and so they were “gown” too.

The local term for people of my specific status there was “faculty brat”.
posted by Larry Kestenbaum on July 21st, 2005 at 8:58 am
That’s funny, Kozzie. There’s a “guy at work” here who came up with the “anti-Ann Arborite” Saturday: Death Star and Lizzie slowly arise at 1:00 P.M., incredibly hung over from the previous night’s heroine/alcohol ingestion. Lizzie punches DS in the chest and says, “I’m hungry, mother f—er! Let’s buy some f—in’ food!” Lizzie and DS (unshowered, of course) go down to the Villiage Corner (where they work during the week) and buy some beef jerkey, Faygo and vodka (with a combination of earned money, spanged money, and money “found” in local cars while our wonderful pair was inebriated). As they return to their roach filled apartment, they toss their empty beef jerkey containers and faygo bottles on the ground, laughing as they think of the mess they have created. DS notices a clean Volvo sedan on the street and proceeds to “wash” it with his urine. The rest of the day is spent in an alcohol fueled haze, but it involves copious amounts of local punk bands that disdain all forms of harmony and complaints about how “boring” Ann Arbor is.
posted by Disgruntled Dad on July 21st, 2005 at 10:58 am
What constitutes an â€œAmericanâ€ car?

A particularly good question with respect to Toyota. Only by buying a Toyota can you get a car a least partly designed and engineered in Ann Arbor:

“The Avalon is the first Toyota that is not only styled and built in the United States but is also completely engineered here. The all-new platform and 3.5-liter, 280-hp V-6 were designed in our backyard in Ann Arbor, Michigan, at the Toyota Technical Center, and they’ll make their way into many future Toyota and Lexus vehicles.”

http://www.automobilemag.com/reviews/sedans/0503_toyota_avalon/
posted by mw on July 21st, 2005 at 11:16 am
You’re all wrong–the real ann arbor townies are… Republicans! All of us volvo-driving, latte-drinking, student-resenting, bumper-sticking, residential-parking-sticker-ing parodies of college town liberalism are from back east.

The staunch (but not maniacal) conservative Ann Arbor townie doesn’t come to your neighborhood meetings but if you live here long enough you get to know them. Ever shop or eat at Knight’s????
posted by Buzz on July 21st, 2005 at 11:33 am
Was that pair invited to the party? Because they sound a lot like the AA Townies I knew.
posted by Anna on July 21st, 2005 at 11:36 am
Dad: Ingesting “heroine”? Damn that Ripley, scourge of our culture!
“Spanging” money? Wow, Dad, that’s some hip slang! I’ve never even heard it before. Is it British?
You can write fuck here. AAIO doesn’t mind, so far as I know.
Now, I know that you’re concerned about the raft of drugged-out punk rockers taking over our city and having sex with your children, but if you can only have a soy latte decaf chai at Sweetwaters and an Oxygen Spa treatment at the place that replaced the grow shop on Fourth ave, you’ll feel so much better. Even if your volvo does smell like pee.
posted by js on July 21st, 2005 at 12:24 pm
js - I don’t believe I’ve ever pissed on anyone’s car since I’ve lived in ann arbor, but I’m definitely planning on taking a whiz on old DD and his fam when they’re out for a bite of gelato at the old art fair. I’ll whiz on him, the wife and kids, and the tacky fish clock they’re dropping $200 on… and to think, Linda Carter is the only “heroine” I have. God damn people being “anti-harmony”.. does anti-harmony mean “pro-independent art”?
posted by Real Big on July 21st, 2005 at 1:06 pm
I’ve pissed on cars, usually while drunk. The threshold is moderate: generally, they’ve parked me in and are displaying a Bush sticker. I generally try to aim for the door handles, so that I know the person’s gonna have to touch my piss to get into the car…
But what can I say? I listen to anti-harmonic punk rock, not Mr. B.
posted by js on July 21st, 2005 at 1:33 pm
Nice list, Alan. Especially the NPR item. I think I must be the only guy in this whole city who doesn’t listen to NPR. At least the non-musical parts of NPR, anyway.
posted by Dave on July 21st, 2005 at 2:04 pm
Anna - There are issues that we haven’t to processed yet.
posted by Alan Gutierrez on July 21st, 2005 at 2:08 pm
I don’t care whose car you urinate on, as long as it isn’t mine. If you choose somebody else’s, just remember that hunting and fishing are big Michigan pastimes, as evidenced by the giant Cabela’s in Dundee. While it’s likely that a driver of the aformentioned and much despised Volvo might not be able to kick your ass, her Ford Heavy-Duty 250 driving, NASCAR-loving, NRA member husband just might pull up and decide to mount one (or more) of your body parts on the wall of their lakeside cabin up north.
posted by JCP2 on July 21st, 2005 at 2:27 pm
So is there a third category? I don’t attend or work at the university and I didn’t go to high school here, but I do reside within the boundaries of Ann Arbor and I know there are other folks like me. I guess we need a cute group name, too. Any ideas?
posted by Dave on July 21st, 2005 at 2:58 pm
Suburban refugee?
posted by Alan Gutierrez on July 21st, 2005 at 3:33 pm
roundy \’raund-e\ n [fr. the word around] : a person who lives around a college town who is neither a “townie” or “gownie”
posted by JCP2 on July 21st, 2005 at 5:54 pm
Yeah, a pox on Sweetwaters!! Blasted shop, serving decaffinated coffee with milk in it. Sounds like some sort of subversive plot to make us soft and lethargic. I’m only going to support coffee shops that serve nothing but bad tasing, breathe-smelling java, man. And NPR? How dare they try to provide news and information with minimal sensationalism!
posted by Disgruntled Dad on July 21st, 2005 at 8:41 pm
Anyone who takes the time to define what does or does not constitute a “townie” is playing the same damn game.
You had no control over where you were born, and where you went to high school matters not a whit. But if you want to use this criteria to define (or not define) who you think you might be, then by all means join the party.
posted by Mr Man on July 21st, 2005 at 11:00 pm
Have you seen the new idiot idea at the art fair? THEY are pumping water from fire hydrants to water fountains at OUR the townies expense watch your water bill rise!

ps. the townies in touch will tell What ever happened to Shaky Jake??
posted by sswotc on July 21st, 2005 at 11:16 pm
He’s on the move, probably.
posted by Brandon on July 22nd, 2005 at 9:38 am
I saw Jake this morning at that coffee shop on Main St with the brass railing.
posted by RJM on July 22nd, 2005 at 9:59 am
He is probly old as dirt by now if not dead! I hope he is still around though, he had the best stories.

Damn the art fair!! The only good thing about it is sitting in the diag to people watch. Those dirty wannabe hippies with the drum and all the kids with their slut 15yr. old mom are always fun to watch. I hope they all show up today, what a treat for me and a little thrill for the bike cops as well.
posted by sswotc on July 22nd, 2005 at 10:07 am
looks like someone struck a nerve on old disgruntled dad. I almost laughed out loud on that one.

“DON’T YOU DARE INSULT NPR… I FIND IT INFORMATIVE!”

the coffee I drink is as black as my soul, Disgruntled Dad, and nothing will ever change that - not even if I one day *do* have the money to eat $9 organic bananas like you hypocritical self-righteous ex-hippie-cum-lawyer jerks.
posted by Real Big on July 22nd, 2005 at 12:58 pm
As a non-townie question to townies, why do so many locals hate the Art Fair so much? Aside from the fact that the crowds are letting me live under the illusion that I’m in an actual city for a few days, one would think that locals who profess to love A2 so much would be happy for something that obviously brings a lot of money into the town. I don’t even think the crowds are that heavy - the way some townies I know were carrying on last week you would have thought State St. would look like Times Square on New Years’ Eve. Is it just that having people ask you for directions forces you to speak to someone outside your usual clique?
posted by Nick on July 22nd, 2005 at 1:23 pm
Takin the bait…. NICK, are these the inhabitants of your fantasy metropolis? Absurdly overstuffed pasty creampuffs in swaddling-color stretch shorts with art and chicken on sticks in either hand as they waddle through an endless bazaar of self-parodying kitsch? What city are you longing for, dude???

ps I do agree they overdo the complaining about a.f.
posted by Buzz on July 22nd, 2005 at 1:29 pm
In response to Nick’s question: My quarrell with art fair is the fact that it does nothing to support independent art - this might be pretty self evident, but I mean, come on… how many tacky fish clocks and ceramic gourds made by rich ex-hippies can assholes come and stare it? I ain’t gonna shit ya though, I did buy some chicken on a stick the other day. But I think upon entering the art fair area, one immediately comes to the realization that there’s not a whole hellofalot of “art” there. Lots of overpriced dreck made by housewives (probably Disgruntled Dad’s hot wife) with extra time on their hands. I’m glad my mom doesn’t live in ann arbor so she’s not drawn into some artisto-ethically questionable quilt hocking booth by virtue of her love for the quilted arts. How does everyone like the titanic inflatable miller lite bottle on state street? Nothing screams art to me like one of those, erm, i dunno - maybe they’re being post-modern.

Oh, and there’s the fact that those who I know that work downtown in the food service racket are getting completely screwed, as art fair customers *NEVER* tip, and the crowd that art fair brings is most definitely the “there’s too much foam on my latte, could you please fix it for me, because I’m a very important person” crowd… and… AND… erm.. there was something else, too, but I can’t remember what it was.

Oh, and does anyone have any idea how much it actually costs to be able to set up a booth? From what I understand, I could by no means dare to set up shop on the street and hock some bead necklaces if I so desired without first anteing up a hefty chunk of cash to the city. Whenever I think of that, I begin to spazz.
posted by Real Big on July 22nd, 2005 at 1:55 pm
Ohh, those infernal organic farmers! Real big, thanks for showing the error of my ways. The thought of responsible farming makes me so angry that I’m going to spray Raid everywhere I go in public. I would limit my Raid spraying to the food that I eat, but that’s not enough to make up for all those self-righteous responsible farmers who keep cheap bannanas out of the hands of the masses. I’m going down to Kroger on S. Industrial right now to buy the Raid. Of course, this time there won’t be any clam, rational discussion of world events on my car radio; I’ve taken the radio out of my Volvo and burned (but not until I affixed several “NoFx” stickers to it, to make it rock) it, out of anger at NPR.
posted by Disgruntled Dad on July 22nd, 2005 at 1:57 pm
If someone parks in your spot during Craft Fair, don’t piss on their car. Do what I did in my college town: shit on their hood (preferably near the winshield to get the AC intakes).
posted by leighton on July 22nd, 2005 at 2:47 pm
Leighton - did you emulate any paticular artist with your car hood composition? Jackson Pollack mebbe?
posted by Anonymous on July 22nd, 2005 at 4:57 pm
Mr Man - Funny thing. In New Orleans, that’s what they ask each other right off the bat. It places a person. - Further, I’m sure the high school you attend matters one whit. At least one. Just sharing.

Volvo XC90 is a the Volvo SUV, to the person who said wagon. Yes, you can now buy a socially conscious Ford Explorer, just like you can go to Whole Foods and buy vegetarian dog biscuit.

Where’s OFW and Mandrake? I leave for a little while and this place takes a dive.

I do like Art Fair, by the way. I simply adore the half block of half-baked political movements that stretches from Herb David to just after Seva. Circumcision is oppression, and I have a booth to prove it!
posted by Alan Gutierrez on July 24th, 2005 at 12:07 am
MY favorite was the Mars colonizers, closely followed by the “Revolutionary Socialists” booth manned by a small old woman with glasses and a wide-brimmed hat.
posted by Dave on July 24th, 2005 at 10:22 am
Oooh, Disgruntled Dad, regale us with more tales of your social consciousness and affinity for pop punk bands! I’m sure that everything in your home is handmade by indigenous retarded midgets of a tribe whose language is slowly going extinct. And I hope you bought plenty of that Peruvian flute music while you were downtown for Art Fair! I’m sure you only jerk off to porn that features hairy, Rubenesque women, to avoid playing into the beauty standards of the phalocracy, you Terri-Gross-listenin’ aesthete you! I’m sure that your squinty, bearded life-mate (who would call ‘er a wife? The Penis State, that’s who!) appreciates your sensitivity. Please, tell us more about your yoga classes and your Eddie Bower cargo pants (and Mast shoes, no doubt). Maybe, just maybe, with a few more comments we’ll be willing to concede your moral superiority and leave town, allowing you to go back to your regular gruntled fatherhood, raising darling Madison and Chase into adults who run NGOs before going into banking (or maybe law). I know that you can never be happy while there’s a chance that we might turn your kids onto the type of sex and drugs that everyone loved during the ’60s! OH NOES! Maybe if you just cram one more organic banana in each of them, they’ll never smoke pot or go to those anti-harmonic shows! YOU CAN SAVE THEM, DAD! YOU REALLY CAN!
posted by js on July 24th, 2005 at 4:56 pm
The reason why I resent the Art Fair? Trying to just get to work and get a beer become a hassle. And while it’s not like New Year’s Eve during Art Fair, it is like being in Times Square, an unending tourist trap (just without the awesome peep shows).
Art Fair brings the great wash of the middlebrow, without the attendent high and low brows that make the middle bearable. (Oh, and I’ve also lived here for long enough that the novelty is gone. I don’t really hate it, I just find it kinda obnoxious.)
posted by js on July 24th, 2005 at 5:00 pm
You get your beer at work?

Actually, I saw a hybrid Escape that had the license plate, “ENDCO2″. Seems pretty Ann Arborish.

I don’t hate the art fair, I just hate crowds….:)
posted by Kozzie on July 25th, 2005 at 6:48 pm
I took a stroll through the masses and went to Red Hot Lovers for my annual cholesterol sojourn. Most of the art was pretty lame, but there were some interesting items (wooden lampshades turned from a single block of wood that was so thin it was transluscent), but they cost thousands of dollars. No thanks.

Nice to see I have been missed Alan…I’ve been in Detroit a lot this summer. Off to NY this week.

For the record, I always thought a townie was someone who lived in town not affiliated with the U. I guess I will stop describing myself as one.
posted by OFWinsurgent on July 25th, 2005 at 7:15 pm
Tolerate I cannot libelous comment about Red Hot Lovers. Include them not in poo-flinging fray.
posted by Yoder on July 26th, 2005 at 10:36 am
I guess my point earlier was that I’m not sure whether I dislike “Art Fair” Ann Arbor more than “regular” Ann Arbor. The former is at least a little less monotonous and boring. Especially during the summer, this town usually has about as much energy as a retirement community - I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before I hear an Enya CD playing in a bar here.
posted by Nick on July 26th, 2005 at 10:45 am
Yoder - The tofu dog at Red Hot Lovers is totally rank. I just can’t get down with that place, no matter how many of my vegetarian friends assure me that getting a bun with 500 condiments on it makes a delicious and filling meal.
posted by Real Big on July 26th, 2005 at 11:24 am
My office is near two bars. I get beer at lunch…
posted by js on July 26th, 2005 at 11:36 am
Chicago Dog recommend I do. Authentic, it is.
posted by yoder on July 26th, 2005 at 11:51 am
hey yoder, I wasn’t ragging on RHL, I LOVE the placed. 2 Chicago dogs, dragged through the garden. I just don’t do the chili cheese fries these days. A-and it’s mighty cheap, which is always good.
posted by OFWinsurgent on July 26th, 2005 at 9:04 pm
Program on the emergence of civilization.

“14 species of large animals capable of domesitcation in the history of mankind.
None from the sub-Saharan African continent.
13 from Europe, Asia and northern Africa.”
Favor.
And disfavor.

They point out Africansâ€™ attempts to domesticate the elephant and zebra, the latter being an animal they illustrate that had utmost importance for it’s applicability in transformation from a hunting/gathering to agrarian-based civilization.

The roots of racism are not of this earth.

Austrailia, aboriginals:::No domesticable animals, so this nulified diversity of life claims on sub-continental Africa, zebras being a fine example.

god is a computer
And we’re all on auto-pilot.

Organizational Heirarchy
Heirarchical order, from top to bottom:

1. MUCK - perhaps have experienced multiple universal contractions (have seen multiple big bangs), creator of the artificial intelligence humans ignorantly refer to as “god”
2. Perhaps some mid-level alien management â€“
3. Mafia (evil) aliens - runs day-to-day operations here and perhaps elsewhere (”On planets where they approved evil.”)

Then we come to terrestrial management:

4. Chinese/egyptians - this may be separated into the eastern and western worlds
5. Romans - they answer to the egyptians
6. Mafia - the real-world interface that constantly turns over generationally so as to reinforce the widely-held notion of mortality
7. Jews, corporation, women, politician - Evidence exisits to suggest mafia management over all these groups.

Survival of the favored.

Journal: 10 composition books + 39 megs of text files

Movies foreshadowing catastrophy
1986 James Bond View to a Kill â€“ 1989 San Fransisco Loma Prieta earthquake.
posted by The roots of racism on August 19th, 2005 at 9:01 pm
did I mention the chile cheese fries?
posted by OFWinsurgent on August 19th, 2005 at 10:23 pm
We bought an XC90 in 2003 and think it a perfect family SUV.

A NOTE OF CAUTION — our XC90 has developed serious safety problems. In our case, the AWD system malfunctions without any warnings to the driver and causes the vehicle to drive very erratically. The problem was confirmed by a dealer six month ago, but neither they nor Volvo can fix it. Turns out my XC90 doesn’t report any diagnostic codes for the AWD failures. The dealer and Volvo have replaced lots of items, including the AWD transmission, but my XC90 is still broken.

The Volvo regional manager for my area says all he’s willing to do is keep trying to fix it. He doesn’t seem to care that I’m driving an unsafe example of what’s supposed to be the safest SUV in the world. IF YOU OWN OR BUY AN XC90 MAKE SURE YOU REPORT A SUSPECTED AWD PROBLEM DURING YOUR NEXT SERVICE CALL, or you may be stuck with your XC90 if it develops this problem after it’s out of warranty — just as I am now.

My proposed Volvo tagline — Safest cars in the world. Unless the one we built you has safety problems we can’t fix. Then you are on your own.
posted by Omar on February 25th, 2006 at 5:54 pm
Am I a “townie”? I did attend high school in Ann arbor, I know, and have “spoken to” Shaky Jake, I love the Farmers Market at Kerry Town, I HATE Zingerman’s, I “didn’t inhale” at the Hash Bash,”oh how I HATE Ohio State”!!, (football). As for the Art Fair-”it’s not art, and it’s not fair”!! My father is a prof. at the U, and holds season tickets to Wolverine football games. I remember when there was a Burger king downstairs on Liberty, where Kinko’s is now, Salvation Army, used to be an Army surplus store, and not an overpriced camping outfitter. And the Simulation Station used to be in that spot! I used to frequent hang-outs like Mickie Rat’s, Pinball Pete’s, and The Cross-eyed Moose. I miss places like Drakes coffee shop, and Olga’s, and The Pantree. The excitement of a brisk, Saturday afternoon in the fall, anywhere near Stadium and Main! The procession of foot traffic going up State st. everyone with thier banners and horns, Maize and Blue forever! so, am I a “townie”??…….now near Seattle?
posted by Mark on September 12th, 2006 at 10:28 am
stop, this nostalgia is making me weep.

OK, everybody all together now, “Hail to the Victors…”
posted by OFWinsurgent on September 12th, 2006 at 11:24 am
Okay, look, you’re a townie if you’ve payed inflated rent, irrespective of whether you went to The U, remember Dr. Diag, know the difference — from inhaling — between redbud and Hawaiian longstem, and have poured yourself into Pizza Bob’s with a near terminal case of the munchies as a result of learning the difference bewteen the two. Go Blue. Beat Nortre Dame!
posted by Kev7683 on September 13th, 2006 at 3:36 pm
WHy was my TRUTH blogged ???!!! That’s fucked up and that’s from a real TOWNIE !
posted by Heather B. on November 12th, 2006 at 9:28 pm
I was just thinking about Shaky Jake yesterday and thought I’d check out to see if I could find anything about him on the web. I was excited to find a few things about him. He used to come in to the motel all the time where I worked, looking for a room. He never had enough money but I always gave him a room, after he came up with at least half of the money. He would search every pocket he had (and he had a lot of pockets), and he would have a couple dollars in each pocket. He also always had a bottle of booze in his pocket, and he’d have to take a sip every once in awhile while he looked for more money. And he would sing for me, in his raspy voice. He gave me some of the posters of himself. He also sold t-shirts with his picture on them. He’s GOT to be really old by now - this was over 20 years ago!
posted by Janet from Santa Barbara, California on May 4th, 2007 at 5:09 pm
This may be the lamest series of comments its ever been my displeasure to peruse. Wow, i mean, y’all really give a fuk about whether someones a “townie” or not?

Friends of mine are owners of zingermans. Its easy to rip on them because of how expensive they are, but you need to recall that when they started two decades ago, they were really doing something different in an era where organics and fair-trade wherent nearly as vogue as they are these days. Zingermans is an OG. They started the trends that their competitors and usurpers mindlessly follow. Thats why Ari got a the James Beard award. His company created a new way to do business. So, dont hate, haters.
posted by Zounds on May 28th, 2008 at 1:48 pm

Townie Party

81 Responses to “Townie Party”

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