It Speaks to You
Business Review profiles a Kerrytown condo and its designer. “You would never know you’re in downtown Ann Arbor,” she says of its quiet backyard that provides a refuge from those raucous Zingerman’s and Artisans’ Market crowds. $1.2 million still seem a little steep, especially with its roof at an angle that was supposed to be French but ended up being Italian? “It’s a hard price range,” the realtor listing the property concedes, “but Ann Arbor is a unique market. I always tell my clients, ‘You’ll know when home is home.’ It speaks to you.”
And when it speaks, it says: Ha, Ha, you dumb asshole, you could have paid 100% less three miles away for the same thing.
posted by YD on April 28th, 2005 at 11:50 amWhat I love is how people talk about the noise of downtown Ann Arbor - what noise? Nothing is ever going on downtown. And it is not even downtown - nothing is open in Kerrytown at night. Plus, it’s ugly. A designer with no taste - given the majority of art in Ann Arbor - what can one expect?
posted by DrMandrake on April 28th, 2005 at 1:18 pmAnn Arbor - is just the - worst - fucking - city - ever! But dashes - are - awesome!
posted by Jose on April 28th, 2005 at 1:30 pmMandrake, as far as I can tell, the only noise that occurs is around 5 AM when for some reason, dozens of empty trucks go bumping and crashing along Main Street at around 60 MPH. I lived next door to the Heidelberg for a summer — it was loud as hell (and not because of the music). It sounded like a thunderstorm every morning.
posted by Anna on April 28th, 2005 at 1:49 pmIt took someone that long to write an article (even a fawning one) about that house? I was horrified when they broke ground on it. There was an open house there once. You had to pay three dollars to get a peak inside and I don’t recall the sign saying the money was going to any worthy cause. I left Ann Arbor, but that house still haunts me. Ewww…it gives me the shivers just thinking about it.
posted by AA Hater on April 28th, 2005 at 2:00 pmAnd the woman’s name is Garnet! Oh dear lord.
posted by AA Hater on April 28th, 2005 at 2:01 pmI think I remember something about the cover charge at openhouse. What a laugh.
The mock-ruins are gag inducing.
posted by OFWinsurgent on April 28th, 2005 at 2:15 pmi - love - dashes - because - i - hate - commas.
posted by DrMandrake on April 28th, 2005 at 2:18 pmDashes: good enough for Emily Dickinson - good enough for the rest of you philistines. (Even though these are technically hyphens.)
posted by Dave on April 28th, 2005 at 4:30 pm100% less, eh? OK where is that because I would LOVE to get a free 1.2 million dollar house. Or is that a 2.4 million dollar house for 1.2 mil?
hmmmm
posted by any on April 28th, 2005 at 4:57 pmthe `faux rocks’ excavated and mounted on the sides of the place are the biggest joke. i’ve heard Garnet J. is a piece of work…..and right down the hill from that place is a park where drug deals go on all the time. maybe thats the noise they’re talking about.
posted by Anonymous on April 28th, 2005 at 4:57 pmI’ve also heard her old house was equally faux, replete with sheep brought in each summer to trim the backyard so her “help” didn’t have to mow. *These* are the Ann Arborites that make me puke.
posted by Anonymous on April 28th, 2005 at 7:17 pmoh anonymous poster…you are so correct on much of this (truly).
Wheeler Park was/is a crack pit.
posted by OFWinsurgent on April 28th, 2005 at 10:03 pmHome ads around here are as fun to look at as a council meeting on tv. A house on Liberty past Wagner says “walk to downtown” Yea, if you’re Bruce Jennings. A custom house on the edge of Ypsi (In Superior Township) Is listed as first street Ann Arbor. Problem is, is first street Superior, by the Eastern Football Stadium.
posted by YD on April 29th, 2005 at 8:50 amAh yes, Wheeler Park… A perfect example Ann Arbor’s need for even more “green, open spaces”…
posted by Justin on April 29th, 2005 at 11:02 amNobody seems to be interested in my suggestion to reduce name confusion (two parallel 4ths), and increase the profile of Wheeler Park, by changing the name of 4th Avenue to Wheeler Avenue.
posted by Larry Kestenbaum on April 29th, 2005 at 3:06 pmYD, are writing of Bruce Jennings, the nationwide male escort:
http://www.brucejennings.com/index.html
Ken Jennings, the Jeopary guy:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ken_Jennings
Bruce Jenner, the 1976 decathlon champ:
http://www.brucejenner.com/
Or some combination of the above?
posted by A Different Jon on April 30th, 2005 at 10:16 pmBTW, I think Bruce Jennings has an unexceptional musculature. Is that body type profitable?
posted by A Different Jon on April 30th, 2005 at 10:21 pmI plied my skills (some of them anyway) at this structure and am obliged to make two factual clarifications. First, the “faux rocks” were definitely not excavated
That was implied by poor sentence structure in the related article where “excavated” should have modified “fieldstones” , which were indigenous to the property, unearthed during excavation, and interspersed with the fake stuff during installation. Second, I attended an open house there that required a donation that according to the brochure was to benefit the Ann Arbor Community Center. Thanks 
posted by tradesman on May 7th, 2005 at 8:40 amWheeler Park was/is a crack pit and Bruce Jenner, he´s a great guy!
posted by Richard Lamisil on May 7th, 2005 at 2:39 pm