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Driving Us to Vie: olence

As far as creative capitalization and punctuation goes, LoFT 322 has nothing on

V

ie: FITNESS & SPA,

“downtown Ann Arbor’s premier fitness studio.” Is it supposed to be parsed “V, i.e., fitness and spa,” or would that be too easily confused with “V, e.g., fitness and spa”?

Maybe they could merge with V2V and form V

ie:2V

ie:

13 Responses to “Driving Us to Vie: olence”


  1. Wouldn’t that make it V2V2V, or perhaps v3?

    posted by Lisa on April 27th, 2005 at 6:04 pm

  2. Perhaps their speciality is Brazilian Bikini wax.

    yow!

    posted by OFWinsurgent on April 27th, 2005 at 6:53 pm

  3. …and the 25 minute kegel-workout.

    posted by OFWinsurgent on April 27th, 2005 at 6:55 pm

  4. I’m sorry, I just can’t wrap my mind around this one.

    posted by Dave on April 27th, 2005 at 7:52 pm

  5. I’m all for a spa called Veg.

    Nothing but couches to sprawl on and big screen TVs!

    Sounds like relaxation at its finest.

    I wonder how much they could charge clients per hour for these services?

    posted by Anonymous on April 28th, 2005 at 9:09 am

  6. I have always been a bit reserved about personal trainers. I mean - aren’t these the idiots in college who majored in sports education or kinesiology? I’d hardly trust these people bagging my groceries, let alone teaching me how to stay fit. I mean what kind of college major is “the study of movement?” I’ll tell you: State School Lite - if such a ridiculous possibility could exist and State school wasn’t Lite enough as it is.

    Onto this V2V2V2V2V2V travesty. I mean - it is a perfect addition to LoFT yuppiness. Lounge? Outdoor Inspiration? I mean - think of the kind of people that will go there. It is a bastion for middle age NIMBYs.

    Speaking on asinine ideas, the other day I was in Starbucks and these two guys were interviewing hot women for what amounted basically to a upscale escort service for idiots. The idea is to provide women to show you around town if you happen to be a visiting antisocial chemist for a particular drug company. I mean, what the fuck is there to show that you need a hot chick to walk you around? There are like 5 bars downtown, maybe one of which is worth going to. And really - the kind of girls they were interviewing were not of the type that you’d have an intelligent conversation. Additionally, the guys interviewing were the seediest characters I’ve seen in a long time - who the fuck holds a job interview in a starbucks? Someone who doesn’t have the financial backing to get an office, that’s who. And here I thought “Pimp” would have been a lucrative job.

    posted by DrMandrake on April 28th, 2005 at 9:55 am

  7. “Welcome to V, the only fitness center to be based on the works of Thomas Pynchon. Over there, those rocket-powered squares are our Gravity Rainbows, which work the delts and obliques, occassionally forcing you to burst out in song. To your right, the personal trainer Oedipa Maas is lifting wastebaskets, for tightness below the Mason-Dixon, if you know what I mean…”

    posted by js on April 28th, 2005 at 10:18 am

  8. My rant about Ann Arbor: This is such a sexually repressed town, that even after a couple of wide-open pussy-related posts (pardon the pun), the subject gets changed to Starbucks and Thomas Pynchon…

    I’ve either gotta move or sew the damn thing up, for all the action this town has to offer. Chicago is looking better all the time.

    posted by OFWinsurgent on April 28th, 2005 at 10:40 am

  9. You don’t find Thomas Pynchon “hott”?

    posted by Dave on April 28th, 2005 at 10:48 am

  10. I didn’t get the pussy references. I guess I’m either too repressed or not repressed enough - either way, V sucks.

    Brazilian girls rock. I mean the band, sickos.

    posted by DrMandrake on April 28th, 2005 at 1:10 pm

  11. Come on Mandrake, graphically “V” could be the logo for a gynocologist or a map of Tasmania.

    posted by OFWinsurgent on April 28th, 2005 at 1:23 pm

  12. I’m telling you - I’m just fucking stupid.

    posted by DrMandrake on April 28th, 2005 at 2:19 pm

  13. OFW- Forgive me. In the future, I’ll try to spend more of my time thinking about your pussy, for fear that you’ll sew it up if it’s neglected in favor of Pynchon riffs. I am truly sorry that this town can’t adequately fill its gaping maw.

    posted by js on April 30th, 2005 at 4:35 pm