The Industry of Cool
Ann Arbor Monk describes himself as “the guy your mom warned you about” on his Google text ad, but it’s unlikely that anyone’s mother specifically advised them to stay away from leather-gloved, transcendentally meditating bodybuilders with the musical taste of a Caltech computer science major from 1996 who like to “debunk…the industry of cool” in their spare time. We somehow find his forthrightness almost endearing in this town of facades, though.
If I were to post a pic of my belly on my blog (or web site), I’m sure I’d take the cake for shattering facades.
Just imagine a forrest of hair on Mt. Play-Dough.
But some facades were (mercifully) not meant to be shattered.
posted by Alan Gutierrez on April 12th, 2005 at 4:34 pmG’ah! Don’t go to the pictures section.. Don’t…
posted by Anonymous on April 12th, 2005 at 5:04 pmtoo late. A little derivative of Mapplethorpe in a few at the bottom. Yikes.
posted by OFWinsurgent on April 12th, 2005 at 5:08 pmBringing a whole new meaning to the term “gay.”
posted by DrMandrake on April 12th, 2005 at 6:19 pmWhy do I suddenly feel like Ann Arbor has taken a Blue Velvet turn?
posted by Peter on April 12th, 2005 at 9:02 pmIt has always been seething between those bright green blades of grass, right next to the severed ear…
posted by OFWinsurgent on April 12th, 2005 at 9:07 pmway to judge an entire city by alex bakers brother.
posted by Ben on April 12th, 2005 at 9:52 pmnot homosexual, not happy, just gay.
posted by Anonymous on April 12th, 2005 at 10:04 pmHa.
I know that kid, aquaitence-style.
I STILL didn’t need to see those pictures. Christ. Ow. Eyes.
(PS - not gay, but bi.)
posted by Anonymous on April 12th, 2005 at 10:59 pmAnd for the record, I think he lives in Ypsi nowadays.
Carry on.
posted by Anonymous on April 12th, 2005 at 11:00 pmWow! I don’t know what disturbed me more, his photos or his taste in music.
posted by Some Arab Guy on April 12th, 2005 at 11:09 pmHaving read the comments to this post first, I think I’ll choose not to follow the link…
posted by Dave on April 12th, 2005 at 11:28 pmIt’s sort of not cool mocking an individual from a site dedicated to mocking an entire community. I did contact him to alert him, not sure what he’ll do but at least you should have fair warning if he goes into a testestarone induced rage and hunts you down.
posted by Pottsy Hunter on April 13th, 2005 at 1:03 amPottsy Hunter - it is cool to mock anyone, ESPECIALLY bi-guy here. You put that kind of shit up, you deserve all the criticism you get. It’s sad - the first amendment is a double edged sword - it allows all of us to rationally discuss the world, but it permits idiots like you to jam the airwaves with your retarded opinions. Go hate fuck yourself.
posted by DrMandrake on April 13th, 2005 at 1:13 amHey guys, thanks for the good laugh. Interesting for me to learn a bunch of guys find my page and especially my pictures so facinating.
Quit staring at my ass though, pervs. And put those hands where I can see them.
posted by The guy your mom warned you about on April 13th, 2005 at 2:23 amMaybe this is one of the many things that being bi renders me incapable of understanding, but why are people so freaked out about the topless pics (?) — OMFG YOU SAW AN UNCLOTHED TORSO. They were 100px thumbnails, for fucks sake.
But yeah, the music taste could have been a lot better.
posted by Ben on April 13th, 2005 at 4:55 amUm, for me it wasn’t so much the unclothed torso, it was what looked like a dildo tucked between his legs … it looked he tucked The Ol’ Major back in between his legs, Silence of the Lambs style, and just stuck the dildo in there, but I didn’t stay for a close look … I just went Aaaaiiieee! and clicked the “back” button.
And Pottsy Hunter? I guess its fine to tell the guy, but he wants to be on display, and sort of like publicity, all attention is good attention. Do you honestly think his feelings are hurt? ‘Cause they’re not. He’s getting lots of validation from our snotty comments.
Besides porn, this is pretty much what 90% of the internet is… personal pages with stuff just like this — this and stupid flash animations. Oh, and broken links.
Which is why the internet is overrated.
posted by mulligatawny on April 13th, 2005 at 8:28 amTucking ones member between the legs al a Silence of the Lambs style is called the “Mangina.”
posted by Candy Coated Clown on April 13th, 2005 at 8:35 amIt isn’t that bi somehow makes one suddenly able to comprehend. It is the sheer hubris of 100 voyeristic web-cam pictures of yourself showing off your body. I wouldn’t care if this was a set of pictures of this guy and his buddies standing shirtless on the beach. It is just that one or two pictures would have been enough. This guy is in love with himself, and he ought to be careful before he tries fucking a mirror - he’ll be pulling glass out of himself for a while.
In reality this guy will make an awesome partner and friend for someone, and I have no doubts that such people will be easy to find in this town.
Also - In those pictures where you black out your cock - aren’t you blacking out a little longer and a little wider than you really needed? Come on - to thine own self be true - you’ve read Plato.
posted by DrMandrake on April 13th, 2005 at 8:36 amOh, is that what it is? He blacked it out? I seriously thought it was the dildo thing I mentioned above.
posted by mulligatawny on April 13th, 2005 at 8:39 amI just checked and vomited. It is most definitely blacked out.
posted by DrMandrake on April 13th, 2005 at 9:33 amOkay, why would you take a pic of yourself naked, and then black out your thing? I mean, if you’re already the sort of person who is going to go ahead and take the pic, and then think “I think I”m going to put this on my website so everyone can see what I look like naked, sitting down”, wouldn’t you leave it uncovered? Otherwise you wouldn’t put the damn thing up in the first place. Or even take the picture at all. I’m not following the logic here. Am I missing something?
posted by mulligatawny on April 13th, 2005 at 9:54 amWelcome to the peer to peer sexuality. Communicating sexual desire via internet. Broadcast sexuality. It’s peculiar, I think, but not uncommon. I can imagine the mindset of the poster, but I don’t quite get it.
Isn’t momma’s guy a little concerned about posting personal photographs, and annoucing them to a city of 100,000? Seriously, guy, if you’re reading this, tell me you’re at least a little concerned.
Or has it been nothing but good to you?
Mulli, the internet in not overrated, but Flash animations are. The 90% of the stuff that has a limited appeal is severely underrated.
Pottsy, what a sniviling little tattle-tale. We shouldn’t let you out onto the internet at recess.
posted by Alan Gutierrrez on April 13th, 2005 at 10:28 amAlan, I guess I’m just jaundiced … my last bf lived his life online, and he’d call me to the computer to come look at every last little thing … anything shiny, clicky, bells-whistles … anything where assholes were made to look like they were singing a song. You know. Shit like that.
posted by mulligatawny on April 13th, 2005 at 11:02 amSure.
It’s hard to observe the internet through the eyes of the easily impressed. When I get together with the AA software community, for example, it’s agonizing to hear them prattle on about a new “technology”, because they’ve totally forgotten about last month’s new “technology”.
They got a nice shinny new issue of Wired, don’t you know.
You’ve got to hate the internet as it’s discussed by the local digerati.
posted by Alan Gutierrrez on April 13th, 2005 at 11:26 amYou put that kind of shit up, you deserve all the criticism you get.
It is just that one or two pictures would have been enough. This guy is in love with himself, and he ought to be careful before he tries fucking a mirror - he’ll be pulling glass out of himself for a while.
Mandrake - you are so totally awesome. Can I steal the fucking a mirror bit for my poetry class? It’s been getting dull as of late, and that’s such a better visual than the stuff he has posted on the site. It also makes me giggle, rather than uncomfortably disturbed.
posted by Jen on April 13th, 2005 at 11:34 amGod you are all being immature. So some guy posts pics of himself on the interent, and has hobbies. Is it any of your business? NO! If you don’t like it, don’t look.
Whatever.
posted by Anna (EDIT BY AAIO: not the Anna who normally posts here) on April 13th, 2005 at 12:23 pmHeh. I went to high school with that guy (James Baker!). And not too long ago, there was a message not to trust him about drugs, since he was rumored to have been a narc. Can’t say as I know one way or another, but hey (that comes with the caveat that it was posted to Craigslist, so it could have been total bullshit).
posted by js on April 13th, 2005 at 1:43 pmAnd the reason you black out your schlong is so that you can black out a much larger area than your actual cock. Jeez. It’s like you folks have never taken pictures of your cocks and posted them on the internet before. Sissies.
it look liked he was giving himself a “mangina” in one of the pictures. OMFG! someone said he lives in “ypsi” now, i have news for you, until he changes his website to ypsilantichildmolester.com he is all yours ann arbor. ypsi has some creeps, but at least ours are punks or hippies, ann arbor seems to be breeding some buffalo bill type characters.
posted by creepy on April 13th, 2005 at 1:58 pmI’ve seen his penis in person, and it really IS that big! I’m scared!
posted by Jen on April 13th, 2005 at 2:05 pmAnna
He’s posting it on the internet in order in the hope that we make it our business. You make it sound like we are voyeurs, when we are slamming shut our eyes to his exhibitionism.
Creepy
Ann Arbor is repressed. This is how they express it.
It’s the duality of man, the Jungian thing, sir.
posted by Alan Gutierrez on April 13th, 2005 at 2:06 pm…and about 100 hits too many of ecstacy on his part.
posted by OFWinsurgent on April 13th, 2005 at 2:17 pmJen - About how big are we talking here? The devil is in the details.
posted by Anonymous on April 13th, 2005 at 2:28 pmcome on dude, jen is monks’ moniker when he puts his make-up on and starts ranting about “putting the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.”
posted by come on on April 13th, 2005 at 3:19 pmDuudde, he’s cute. I’m going to email him.
posted by April on April 13th, 2005 at 3:28 pmWell, not like huge or anything, I was being sarcastic. But at least like 8″ and THICK. No complaints here.
posted by Jen on April 13th, 2005 at 3:30 pmEr… that wasn’t my message above (about being immature or whatever). So, whoever is masquerading as me, thanks for trying to save me from typing, but go fuck yourself. Thanks. (AAIO, could you remove the above?).
posted by Anna on April 13th, 2005 at 3:33 pm(AAIO, I should mention that I’m out of town, so my usual IP isn’t showing up, it should register as a hotel; if you want to check up, drop me a line… Thanks)
posted by Anna on April 13th, 2005 at 3:36 pmI’m going to assume that signing it “Anna” was just a coincidence rather than a malicious attempt to impersonate you and change the name to reflect that.
posted by ann arbor is overrated on April 13th, 2005 at 3:38 pmYeah, on reflection, you’re right. Thanks.
posted by Anna on April 13th, 2005 at 3:43 pmAnna - Pleased to hear that those were not the words of The One True Anna, since they were such typical, thin-skinned AA apologia.
posted by Alan Gutierrez on April 13th, 2005 at 3:57 pmAnd that wasn’t me above with the linked-email, obviously enough. A couple people can back me up that I’m not a “blondie18gurl”, and indeed, repress violent rage towards people who choose internet handles like that.
I know someone who knew this kid, and I think the narc thing wasn’t true. At least, my friend went through their business transactions before and after that rumor went around.
Does it matter though? Not really.
posted by Jen on April 13th, 2005 at 4:05 pmAnn Arbor Monk… the real Slim Shady?
posted by Eric on April 13th, 2005 at 7:44 pmfor me it wasn’t so much the unclothed torso, it was what looked like a dildo tucked between his legs
Oh. I, uh, didn’t scroll down that far.
posted by Ben on April 13th, 2005 at 7:55 pmUpon closer inspecion, the masking in PhotoShop is pretty crude…hasn’t he ever heard of the feather command?
(oh where are you art student now that I we need your comments most?)
posted by OFWinsurgent on April 13th, 2005 at 8:07 pm(Thanks Alan… it’s been a long trip, and I can admit when I’m just being a bitch).
posted by Anna on April 13th, 2005 at 8:16 pmWe’re all missing the 300 lb gorilla in the room: Did anyone look at the video? I have not and I think I will not but…it’s like touching a sore tooth, can’t help but be drawn to it.
posted by peter on April 13th, 2005 at 9:02 pmI think he killed it. I couldn’t help but look after your post.
posted by OFWinsurgent on April 13th, 2005 at 11:59 pmI won’t look at the video since I”m at work … god only knows what’s on there.
posted by mulligatawny on April 14th, 2005 at 8:04 amWow! What a video.
They guy your mother warned you about…
In a room..
With a 300 lb gorilla!
posted by Alan Gutierrez on April 14th, 2005 at 4:53 pmAll of this because AAiO can’t help but hack on a CalTech grad. You never stop bleeding red and grey, do you?
posted by Dale on April 16th, 2005 at 10:11 pmOh, good, the site’s back up.
posted by Brandon on April 18th, 2005 at 7:29 pm