MmmmmBest of Washtenaw County
The text summing up the Current’s reader-selected “Best of Washtenaw County” is even more explicit in its mockery of the whole thing than last year. “Barry’s Bagel broke the bagel rut by coming in first place for Best Bagel,” the passage observes dryly. But along with shattering years of bagel hegemony, the readers also used their ballots for pointed commentary on the A2 singles scene and absolutely hilarious spoof votes, like Stadium Hardware for “Best Nail Salon.” “[H]ow could any of our voters have trouble finding a date, with such a droll and peculiar sense of humor?” How indeed?
Jessica Jernigan’s profile of “Best Women’s Clothing” store Vintage to Vogue — sorry, V2V — is either less dry or extremely dry. “V2V is well on its way to becoming not just a great place to buy a snazzy skirt or a very cool pair of shoes, but a total lifestyle emporium for Washtenaw County’s aesthetic cognoscenti.” The only Washtenaw County event we’ve attended is Larry Kestenbaum’s swearing-in as county clerk, and we can’t say that we detected the presence of an aesthetic cognoscenti there.
As exciting as it must be to compile a list like this year after year (is Raja Rani going to be the “Best Indian Restaurant” and Shalimar runner-up this year — or the other way around? Is Eve going to take “Best New Restaurant” for the second year in a row?) what we need is something more like this: the 50 Most Loathsome Ann Arborites. Only we can’t even muster up enough hate to do it; we’re pretty sure the exercise would quickly devolve. (”What kind of name is ‘Leigh’ anyway?” “Bill Knapp may not actually be an Ann Arborite, but…”)
I love that Harry’s Army Supply was rated second best “Camping Gear Shop” given the “STORE CLOSING, EVERYTHING 75% OFF!” sign in the window.
Other hilarities: Best New Business: Euphoria Oxygen Bar. Come on. If I’m going to a bar, there better be plenty of booze, hot college girls, and smoke - not oxygen. But Connor O’Neil’s as the best pick-up place? Yeah, if you like to hook-up with power tools and MILFs from Dexter and Canton who are out for an evening in the ‘city’. Best Subways? National Chains Subway and Jimmy Johns, proving readers of the Current truly have no taste. Best actresses and actors and poets having multiple 2nd place ties who are illiterate and untalented assholes who nominated themselves and received exactly one vote each?
It leaves me wondering: what morons voted? Where can I deck you? And why are there so many stupid categories on this best of list? Best recording studio? How many recording studios can there be in shit town? I think they need to have a new category: Best clueless idiots: a 150,000 first place tie among all the residents of Ann Arbor.
I wonder where you would fall on that loathsome list, AAiO? I’m sure Mucho Gusto at least would rank you pretty high.
posted by DrMandrake on March 31st, 2005 at 6:11 pm1) Margaret Wong - for making the ordinary, extraordinary
2) Lloyd Carr - Best personality
3) Dan Oates - “I said get me to the airport now!”
4) Dennis Serras and Michael Gibbons (Mainstreet Ventures)- not just every restaurant in AA, but soon every restaurant in SE MI will be owned by this syndicate of mediocre taste
5) that homeless guy in the wheelchair that always tries to run you down
6) Geoff Larcom - “Let me tell you, old Ann Arbor, now that was the cat’s meow.”
That’s six…
posted by Poobah on March 31st, 2005 at 6:14 pmHey, I must have got at least TWO votes! I’m up there with local band Dune Buggy Attack Battalion.
posted by ann arbor is overrated on March 31st, 2005 at 6:21 pmLocal polls never cease to amaze me. At least the Metro Times Best of Detroit has more to work with - but even in that, I can barely fill out half of the entries.
But you can bet the “winning” businesses will have some sort of Current ad with “thank you for voting us…”
I would imagine Necto would be a better place for a hook-up than Conor’s… even taking the Cantonites into consideration.
“aesthetic cognoscenti”. That’s great.
posted by Jen on March 31st, 2005 at 6:29 pmThe “thank you” ads are already in this month’s issue. Some of the winners were told ahead of time.
posted by ann arbor is overrated on March 31st, 2005 at 6:34 pmSo when are YOU submitting your thank-you ad, AAIO?
posted by Dave on March 31st, 2005 at 6:56 pmMost loathesome?
Hands down Neil Berlin, former city attorney who wrote his own bloated pension, then left town before the shit hit the fan. He lives in Boulder now and is probably afraid to come back to the state.
posted by OFWinsurgent on March 31st, 2005 at 6:56 pmoh, and the pious attorneys of the Thomas More wing of Santa Maria Law School who are trying to take away domestic partner benefits at the U, A2 Schools and elsewhere. Mean-spirited bastards. Saving families indeed.
posted by OFWinsurgent on March 31st, 2005 at 7:00 pmOFWinsurgent, I believe you are referring to the Ave Maria School of Law…a school of virgins named in honor of the holy virgin.
posted by Some Arab Guy on March 31st, 2005 at 7:10 pmyeah, that’s it. I got confused with all the religious outpouring over the Schiavo case these last few days.
posted by OFWinsurgent on April 1st, 2005 at 9:30 amHeh. Due to my course load, this is the first year in about five that I didn’t do any of the tabulation.
posted by js on April 1st, 2005 at 9:56 amSo… Permit me to spill on previous years. Because, you know, I’m not giving away secrets if I’m not talking about this year— since I’m sure everything is totally different.
First off, the number of responses that we usually get is about 500. Of those, usually about 100 are attempts to ballot stuff for one business or another (weirdly enough, the haircut places are the ones most likely to do this. A couple years ago, we had to throw out about 200 ballots from Weegee’s).
If I had to guess, I’d say that Ann Stewart (the newest editor) was responsible for the intro, because otherwise she wouldn’t have mentioned Stadium Hardware as Nail Salon (it won the last two years as well, and I know I mentioned it when I last wrote the intro).
Best New Rest.: Banh Na happens to suck, but at least they’re legitimately new. This category usually gets about 40-50 votes.
Best Greek rest.: New category. Shame Parthenon had to win.
Best Mex: Shame Tios came back. Honestly, I’d guess that comes down to counter error or bias (Oh, I didn’t mention it? People counting the entries routinely skew things intentionally to get their favorites to win.
Best Deli: This category always gets the most votes, with well over 200 always voting for Zingerman’s. I had proposed to change the rules, having a “hall of fame” for people who win more than, say, three years in a row, disqualifying them from the competition. But I was overruled by the sales staff.
This is the first year that addresses and phone numbers have been added, by the way. Something I think is kinda dumb (mostly because of places like Subway winning “best subs” and having 13 locations in town).
Putting “Best Pick-up” into restaurants was dumb, and happened this year for the first time.
I’m not sure why it’s now “Best Bar” and not “Best Place to get a Drink” and why they got rid of “Best Townie Hangout” (perhaps because they had perpetually been The Del Rio, even after the Del closed).
Of the Arts and Entertainment, the diverse genres of “Bests” (blues, classical, etc) got so few votes last year that we didn’t print them (at my urging). I can’t imagine that the votes have gone up all that significantly, but Mark Ziemba (the music editor) likes to believe that Current can serve all audiences well, so he includes them. Probably about five votes for the winners and about three for each of the runners up (except rock, where the Dune Buggy Attack Battallion must have had all of their members vote and some of their friends, to knock off reigning king George Bedard, who usually got about ten votes).
Re: Recording studios. There are actually about 12 of them in town, and Big Sky is supposed to be one of the best. But I can’t imagine more than 10 votes for them, and I bet the runners up came up with about five apiece.
Best Poet and Best Writer always end up being 3-vote winners, with second place usually being whoever got two votes. One year I won “Best Writer” by getting three roommates to vote for me. They had discontinued the category for a while.
Most of Business ones are sops to advertisers. I had to wait until Arbor Vacuum stopped advertising in order to finally get rid of the category last year (not least of which was because the winner was always “they all suck,” which we weren’t allowed to print when we had Arbor, an advertiser, as a runner up).
Best Bank and Best Realtor are still retarded, and are usually a pain in the ass to tabulate, as everyone puts down their individual realtor and you end up with a 38-way tie for last.
Last year I, by virtue of being unedited, got them to run the category as Best Heade Shoppe, but apparently that’s been changed back.
Best internet and best phone are rather retarded categories, as there are only really two providers for each. Why not have “best cable provider” too, since there’s only one? Neither Comcast nor SBC advertise anyway.
I’m betting that the Best Local Activists again got about 3 votes to win… And “Best Gadget Store” shows us that we should pick categories that highlight things about Ann Arbor, not that are sops for giant chains.
All-in-all another sad year for Ann Arbor voters. But what can you expect? The demographic skews toward suburbanites from the rims of the city, with a bit of OFW and students sprinkled in. And the students resolutely vote for chains over local businesses (one of the reasons to resent them).
Sorry for this being so long…
Maybe next year ArborUpdate and AAiO (paired up as “best quasi-serious news blog” and “best Ann Arbor blog that anybody actually cares about”) ought to run a best of, and disqualify chains. js can pick the categories. We can use Seat of the Revolution’s best of ypsi tabulating scripts.
We can have a special “Best thing about central NJ” category in honor of Mandrake, which will be, of course, “It’s not Ann Arbor”, since that’s about the only good thing that can be said about it.
posted by Murph on April 1st, 2005 at 10:13 amI noticed several months ago, before Dough Boys starting floating belly up in the deep-fat-fryer of local commerce, that they had signs up in their stores just begging their loyal customers to write ‘em in as best something-or-other (donuts? soup ‘n sandwich? don’t recall …) in CURRENT’s Best Of. And evidentally their customers DENIED them that POTENTIAL LIFELINE! Hell, I’m starting to think AA is rated just about right.
posted by DoughKnutKing on April 1st, 2005 at 10:21 amDough Boys went out of business?
posted by Anna on April 1st, 2005 at 10:34 amWell, I think they closed all their stores … didn’t they? You’re making me feel all insecure by doubting me! What did I ever do to you!
posted by DoughKnutKing on April 1st, 2005 at 11:37 amThe Dough Boy store in the South Main Market is indeed closed - walked by there today. They will be about as missed as a barium enema.
posted by Anonymous on April 1st, 2005 at 11:40 amAwright, now, I’m feeling those waves of epistemological love coming my way, good as the high from one of those chub-fried torii of lard dough from the D-Boys, rip, all you glaze-hatin’ pastry foes.
posted by DoughKnutKing on April 1st, 2005 at 11:49 amThe only way to make money selling pastries in AA is to triple the price and put them on tiered display trays.
BTW, I second the Main Street Ventures nominiation. They will soon be recruiting Eisner to their new division, Main Street, A2 Theme Parks and Attractions.
posted by Anna on April 1st, 2005 at 12:34 pmWhat about the DBs on Stadium. Of late, that was their main store (at least where they did all of their catering from).
posted by js on April 1st, 2005 at 1:00 pmSouth Main Market has sucked forever. Except San Fu, which has pretty good specials (though the regular menu sucks for some reason… It makes me wonder if they have a cook purely for the specials…)
I’ve been living off of oatmeal, pasta, and granola from By the Pound in South Main Market for months…
Anyone goin’ to the Paybacks/Riots/Porchsleeper show tonight at the Pig?
posted by Brandon on April 1st, 2005 at 2:19 pmcongrats on getting voted best blog…
posted by Kozzie on April 1st, 2005 at 2:26 pmBrandon- I’m gonna try to make it, but we’ll see… I’ve been broke lately…
posted by js on April 1st, 2005 at 2:43 pmAw, Josh. You’re making me feel bad for winning $1 from you at poker on Wednedsay… =)
I’m all for an AU/AAiO-sponsored “best of” thing. Though I was thinking of adding a sort recurring poll-like feature to AU where folks could sort of do this sort of thing. Kind of like the occasional AA/Ypsi Livejournal thing where someone says “Hey. I need a dentist.” and twenty people respond with recommendations. So it’s not really a “best of” but a sort of “ask around” … Anyway… See the “Fuel” section at http://gapersblock.com/ to get an idea about what I’m thinkin’…
posted by Scott T. on April 1st, 2005 at 3:04 pmTotal agreement with js’ last post… next show I plan on making is Of Montreal with Showdown at the Equator, and that’s three weeks away.
I’ve been wondering about this. I actually mentioned to my boss, when thinking out loud about how our restaurant could make it into its specific category, that I’d like to see a “worst of Ann Arbor,” as that’d probably be much more entertaining (and accurate) than this “best of” crap (and there’s been a lot of wonderment on this end as to who the fuck are Dune Buggy Attack Battalion). I’d probably end up voting on establishments, as I know very few individual Ann Arborites (probably for the best).
posted by Lazaro on April 1st, 2005 at 4:01 pmI’ll probably go to the show at the Pig tonight. Love the Paybacks and have been wanting to see the Riots forever.
posted by OFWinsurgent on April 1st, 2005 at 5:02 pmI very much enjoy the Paybacks live–probably too much, as their CD was a relative disappointment. Shit, maybe if my tax return’s in the mail when I get home I might go.
posted by Lazaro on April 1st, 2005 at 5:23 pmMaybe the good Dr. will head to the pig. Haven’t been there in ages. Is this show any good?
posted by DrMandrake on April 1st, 2005 at 6:19 pmThe Dough Boys on Stadium is also closed, sadly enough.
posted by Matt on April 1st, 2005 at 6:30 pmTo my knowledge, the Dough Boys on Plymouth isn’t closed. But I’m not a fan of the place, so I didn’t look too closely.
Wow… I may have to get friends to vote me in for best writer or poet next year. I’m already in the random English magazine that takes anyone who submits anything, might as well go for the big-time and the certificate to boot.
I knew there were few votes, but I didn’t realize it was that few. Wow. Thanks for the insider-info.
posted by Jen on April 1st, 2005 at 8:46 pmMaybe I should also get a troup to vote for me. Maybe I’ll do a series of poems about Ann Arbor.
Along the winding river, Ann Arbor sleeps
The people here all give me the creeps.
I once dreamed of a life on the Huron
But I realize now, I was a moron.
In Ann Arbor, everything is over-rated
This can never be understated.
NIMBYs hang out everywhere, wanting green
Which makes poor Mandrake want to scream
Pretentious students flock to bars
I just wish these people would just contract SARS
I used to think it was just me
Then I found AAiO.com, and began to see
That I’m not alone in all this hate
Sane people come here and commiserate.
And so on. I think I should win the Nobel prize. Or at least have three people vote for me so I can win third prize in the friggin current.
posted by DrMandrake on April 1st, 2005 at 9:22 pmThe Observer said all the locations of Dough Boys closed 2 weeks ago.
posted by Dale on April 1st, 2005 at 9:51 pm“Glaze-hatin’ pastry foes.”
That was most enjoyable. Thanks for that.
posted by Jenny on April 1st, 2005 at 10:48 pmwent to the pig…my ears are destroyed.
The Riots are excellent and Wendy Case still rocks.
posted by OFWinsurgent on April 2nd, 2005 at 1:39 amJen–where can one find a copy of this random journal? It sounds unreasonably entertaining.
posted by Lazaro on April 2nd, 2005 at 11:24 amwow, I didn’t realize people really liked “Of Montreal”
posted by Alex(andra) on April 2nd, 2005 at 12:25 pmThey keep pushing back the release date, but apparently it’ll be all over town.
I like Of Montreal. I like Showdown. And since school has been totally isolating me from the concert scene, and life in general, I had no idea that show was going on. Sigh.
posted by Jen on April 2nd, 2005 at 12:59 pmSo I left early last night, as I was falling asleep. That’s what drinking wine, gin, and beer starting at 7 will do to ya. Missed Porchsleeper, the Riots were great, and I think I’m over the Paybacks. Meh.
posted by Brandon on April 2nd, 2005 at 1:54 pmI worked at Dough Boys back when production was in the South Main Market. [The production location they moved to on Stadium was the Breadery at that time.]
In the month or two that I was there, the owners changed management twice. The outgoing crew told me that two of their baker couples used to go in the store room and FUCK on the flour. We can infer then that Ann Arborites who ate bread from Dough Boys at that time were eating bread made from flour that got FUCKED on. [todd — ideas?] I believe that one of those artisans works at one of the museums now.
Then there was a French lady who gave me advice for the lovelorn. Then there was Will-yahm and his prison buddy, Tyrone, who showed me that “dough was like a woman”.
There was a Congolese drum instructor who baked there for a while. And I heard of an amazing mid-shift fistfight that took place after I left.
posted by A Different Jon on April 2nd, 2005 at 2:29 pmThanks Jon - you’ve given me a whole new meaning for “sticky-buns.”
posted by DrMandrake on April 2nd, 2005 at 3:32 pmRe: Of Montreal–I’ve actually never heard them, but I’m curious, as I am about Showdown. What I’m really jazzed about is the Avatars/Hard Lessons CD release show at the end of the month. Anything that makes me feel better about living (especially here)…
posted by Lazaro on April 2nd, 2005 at 3:59 pmYou’re welcome, Doc.
This suggests a topic for a possible AAiO poll. “Which Ann Arbor service businesses are the best for employees to fuck or fight at on the clock?” (Catching a buzz at would be uncountable.)
A co-worker has been pissing me off most of the day. If this flavors my post, whatver…
As to a different theme, the original cash behind some bakery somewhere came from a Physics (or Engineering) Ph.D. His wife ran the operation.
And if you are apeshit about downtown, why not leapforg the OFW and OWS and develop that look somewhere else in town. Look like Colonade? Look like Liberty between Main and Ashley?
And talking about bands is like talking about leaves or snowflakes. Adjectives! Stories! Describe!
posted by A Different Jon on April 2nd, 2005 at 7:36 pmThe Riots: think early Kinks, the Animals, White Stripes. They were fantastic. Lots of stage presence. The drummer beat the shit out of the drums…Ryan’s (lead singer) wife Casey who plays the bass looks like a very pretty spaced out 60s party doll refugee (think Nancy Sinatra 60s, not Janet Joplin 60s), but I mean that in a good way, she’s great. They were totally excellent. They just got a new keyboard player who fit in great, but I think they are about to take a hiatus and work on some new stuff.
Paybacks: loud, rauchous. Wendy Case reminds me of a Detroit version of Chrissy Hynd, but with a better sense of humor. I’m not really keen on her type of rock and roll these days (a bit retread for me) but she is a blast to watch. She and I were at a Sonic Youth concert at the State Theater in Detroit in the early 90s and rushed the stage together after attending a very strange party downriver, but I haven’t seen too much of her since. I’m glad her band is doing well though.
Hope that is helpful.
posted by OFWinsurgent on April 2nd, 2005 at 10:47 pmIs it bad that I’m starting to find Wendy Case grating and obnoxious? I know that’s sacrilige in these parts…
The Riots are fab, though.
Heads-Up: apparently Fred Thomas will be joining Kelly Caldwell and Actual Birds @ Totally Awesome House on Tuesday. Just got Kelly’s new record tonight, it’s a great leap forward from the previous one.
posted by Anonymous on April 3rd, 2005 at 12:08 amGrating and obnoxious to one is amusing and entertaining to another.
(see Mandrake for reference)
posted by OFWinsurgent on April 3rd, 2005 at 9:44 amJs, your comment about the Current Readers. I agree. The Best Picks sucks. It’s not really showing all Washtenaw voters. They aim the voting to the white middle class. I was disappointed when they don’t have Best Soul Food. But Best other crap that most people don’t care? There are many Soul food restaurant out there that not many people know. Our economy sucks and we pay 37 cents for postage to vote. Who wanna vote? What they need to do is promote it out more to a diverse demographic or have it setup online where people can vote easily. AND FREE.
But I do disagree with you about Banh Na being best new restaurant. I think they’re awesome compare to other Thai resturants out there. If you can take the adventurous side of trying the real authentic of Laos and Thai food, Banh Na is the place to go. I’m not talking bout those damn Pad Thai noodles. Talking bout the spicy papaya salad, grilled chicken and their sticky rice.
I don’t even know why Tios wins. It’s not even real Mexican. Most of the restaurant that wins sucks like you said. It’s another marketing tool to get restaurants to advertise in their issues. Ann Arbor is overrated by the burbs.
Dee
posted by Dee on April 4th, 2005 at 2:14 pmDee- Bahn Na isn’t anything like Thai food, really (though none of the places here really are). It’s more a Bizarro world Laos/Chinese joint that advertises as Thai because, well, not enough people would go to a Laos/Chinese fusion place, honestly. While the papaya salad is pretty good, their curries are weak (and so are the noodle dishes I tried). Maybe the problem is that I’m a vegetarian- that often distorts my view of ethnic retaurants- but I just thought the place was weak on nearly all fronts.
posted by js on April 4th, 2005 at 4:11 pmOh, and as far as Tios goes (and to perhaps put a better frame on one of the biggest flaws in voting): There are certain businesses that, by whatever virtue, are the things that people remember in town. People vote for these things out of habit, not out of knowledge. The most salient point with regard to this is that the Bagel Factory got the most votes for Best Bagels two years running after it had closed. (This was the first year that it didn’t win). If people don’t even know enough to vote for a place that’s open (and similar phenomena occur often), then of course they’re going to keep voting for something they vaguely remember as the best without regard to what actually is the best.
I realize it’s elitist, but I feel like there should be some sort of metric for disqualifying answers based on things like that (say, if you list the Bagel Factory, The Del, or other forgotten shops along with McDonalds etc., you’re simply judged not bright enough to vote.)
How about the Ann Arbor’s Most Over-Rated poll?
use the same categories.
-JIm
posted by JIm on April 6th, 2005 at 12:51 amseriously? how did goodspeedupdate win 2nd best blog… goodspeed doesn’t even live here anymore!!!
posted by lib on April 9th, 2005 at 10:13 pm