ann arbor is overrated.

From the You Know You’ve Lived in Ann Arbor Too Long When… department: when we first read the Arbor Update headline “City of Ann Arbor budget cuts loom,” we thought, “Well, it’s about time they stopped spending tax dollars on that loom.” Assuming, of course, that there must be a decorative Loom of Peace or Weaving of Diversity on display in City Hall or somewhere. But we were wrong — it’s probably actually a quilt, which everyone knows isn’t created on a loom.

Where’s Quidnunc when you need her? Uncle Grambo’s looking for the scoop on what Tara Reid and Sergei Federov were up to last night in A2 after a charity hockey game at Yost. “Like, did her and Sergei show up at Scorekeeper’s demanding Jagerbombs and Ritz crackers? Was Chris Cheli-Blows spotted drinking a Victory Ale alone in a dark corner of Trashley’s? Did everyone go back to Sam Valenti IV’s batch pad and blow rails?” We don’t even get half of these allusions. Now, if they’d gone to the third floor of the Dursterstadt Center and run some Mathemati-best, Solaris stizz, we might have a better point of reference.

“Choose any area of Ann Arbor, and you won’t be disappointed” in finding something to do, writes the Daily’s Ashley Dinges. Like Kerrytown. It’s got “much more for students than simply Zingerman’s.” The Farmer’s Market, for example — if you find yourself looking for wreaths, jam and honey at 7 am on a Saturday, as many students do, nothing beats it. And don’t forget Vintage to Vogue home accessories.

Also today, the Daily’s editorial page urges the university to “Make LEO Purr.” We’re just as supportive of the lecturers’ union as anyone else, but, um…

An Ann Arbor High School class of ‘40 alum opposes tearing down his alma mater (now the Frieze Building) for the new dorm. “Historical considerations” aside, he doesn’t think a dorm should be in a location that’s near anything else. “In my opinion, the location is not suited for a dormitory…Dormitories need buffer zones and quiet surroundings.” In other words, sprawl.

What is it with all of these nostalgic AAHS grads, anyway? Doesn’t anyone else want to see their former high school go down in a Buffy-season-3-style demolition?