Hippie Dorms Are a Lot Harder to Build Than Hippie Houses…But Way More Intelligent!
Our suggestion that students go out and get some nice porch furniture from Restoration Hardware seems to have fallen on deaf ears, for Judy McGovern sees fit to mention the epidemic of “upholstered furniture” on porches in her round-up of the top stories “you won’t hear” in 2004. Once the offenders whose gauche furniture choices are a blight on Tree Town have been herded into dorms, she writes, “year-round community members” will “agree that city living is better than commuting.” Year-round community members, like grad students. All right, that’s probably not what she meant. Year-round community members like that hippie guy who sits on his peace-slogan-scrawled front porch every day, on furniture that may or may not be upholstered, and whose front yard contains a large mirror and other assorted objects?
Hmm, that’s probably not what she meant either. But - a modest proposal emerges. Why not hippie dorms? After all, in a “bohemian” place like A2, there are bound to be a few free-spirited types who take the city’s propaganda literally and clutter the landscape with outré bric-a-brac. If we could put them all together under one roof, problem solved! (All right, we suppose that these places are usually called “co-ops”, but we like “hippie dorms”.) We could then get Pottery Barn to decorate the newly hippie-cleansed neighborhoods.
Now that’s what we call city living.
I’ll be disappointed if this post doesn’t touch off more intergenerational warfare, by the way.
posted by ann arbor is overrated on January 4th, 2004 at 2:21 pmInstead of building dormsd, why doesn’t the city of Ann Arbor subsidize tract housing for these townies, since they are rude to the students, and even pass laws against them. This housing should be far from Ann Arbor, since most of the townies do not behave like “considerate guests” in a community that should eixst to serve the needs of college students.
posted by Lucky Jackson on January 4th, 2004 at 2:42 pmI don’t know that it’s fair to say the community should exist to serve the needs of college students. While many folks from Ann Arbor seem to have forgotten that having a university here is perhaps the bigger part of what made the city so “great” (or perhaps simply overrated?) I think you’d find plenty wrong if the community only served college students. Then again, a city totally focused on the joys of all college aged people might very well become world renowned for being a “cool city.” Hooray.
posted by A Ben, but not that one on January 4th, 2004 at 4:43 pmCollege students should shut up and serve year-round community members their lattes, before they get cold.
Stories that could happen, but won’t:
Change in Zoning Laws Allows Granny Flats, Also no Exposed Parking. Old Fourth Warders rejoice along with students. “By increasing density, we’ve made it possible for real downtown development!” said one OFW resident, “And I just love the new downtown supermarket!” Carl Carlson, a student, said “Now that downtown serves my needs, I can sell my car and take that link thingee around town!”
Voting Precincts are Redistricted to Give Students a Voice in Local Elections
“I always thought it was silly to break up the student vote through unabashed gerrymandering,” says Mayor Heiftje. “But I think that by having a voice in local politics, students not only learn important lessons about what it means to be a citizen, but they’ll be able to usher in a new era of cooperation!”
Noise Complaints Fall as Police Refuse to Issue Citations
“Frankly, the idea that a $500 fine can be levied for any noise that is audible 50 feet away always seemed a little bit draconian to me,” says police Officer Friendly. “Besides, spending that police money on community involvement has meant that people feel safer, and has resulted in less break-ins. I guess the secret was not to have an antagonistic relationship with young people…”
Bill Knapps Recipies Not That Good
posted by js on January 4th, 2004 at 5:33 pm“I guess I just kinda got used to [Bill Knapps Apple Crumble] and forgot that I could make something just as good from scratch, or just buy it from the Farmer’s Market,” says homemaker Millie Fredricks. “I think that I only liked them because they were bland, and we used to go there a lot before Marvin died.” Local scenesters vow to start mocking Bob Evans instead.
js
College students should shut up and serve year-round community members their lattes, before they get cold.
the community members, or the lattes?
I was going to go back and post a “stories you won’t hear” roundup, but now you’ve gone and ruined it by naming just about everything I would have had.
As for the tract houses, I still think that the townies should look into Saugatuck - more historic charm, no students.
posted by ann arbor is overrated on January 4th, 2004 at 6:06 pmOh, the lattes. I worried about that abuse of AP style, but I guess it’ll be OK.
posted by js on January 4th, 2004 at 6:16 pmjs
If you wnat to look at Ann Arbor’s future, you should head out to Boulder. The New Age West Coast trustfunders who move to Boulder make the townies in Ann Arbor seem like intelligent, public spiritied individuals. East Lansing, where I did my undergrad, is beginning to look better. The townies there are pretty upfront aboutbeing bloodsucking slumlords.
posted by Lucky Jackson on January 4th, 2004 at 6:20 pmIs anyone beside me aghast that a “managing editor”–not some Daily college kid, much less a high school paper writer, but a managing editor–sees the war as a response to the 9/11 attacks? Quote:
posted by Laura on January 4th, 2004 at 8:57 pm“There were arguments about a war and weapons and whether military action in Iraq had anything to do with terrorism. (Honk if - on behalf of the victims of Sept. 11 - you’re offended by that one).”
Can you believe anyone in a reasonably prominent local news position could be this ignorant? Not to mention unfashionable–that saggy $6 wanna-be mullet hairdo in inexcusable. Much more jarring to my sensibilities (shudder!) than a porch couch.
I took that statement exactly the opposite way, Laura… although I’ll grant that it’s ambiguous, as written.
posted by Shmuel on January 4th, 2004 at 9:19 pmI can’t say I see any ambiguity. And if God forbid I were a victim of a terrorist attack I would not want to be memorialized by some…mullet…pounding her car horn. But that’s just me.
posted by Laura on January 4th, 2004 at 9:24 pmWell, to my mind, the more likely interpretation of the sentence in question is “honk if - on behalf of the victims of Sept. 11 - you’re offended by the claim that military action in Iraq had anything to do with terrorism.” But I’ll grant that it could also be read the other way. Without being familiar with McGovern’s positions in general, it’s hard to be sure exactly what she meant.
posted by Shmuel on January 4th, 2004 at 11:42 pmI think Shmuel’s right; that’s how I read it, at least. But it’s still some pretty poorly-worded prose.
posted by Boris on January 5th, 2004 at 12:28 amI’m probably missing something here, I guess, in the way it’s worded, but I don’t want to steer things too far OT here, sorry. To return to the gist of things, what’s so all-fired terrible about couches on porches? So it creates a collegiate and vaguely seedy atmosphere. So what? I find that kind of atmosphere, which also has lively, irreverent, youthful aspects, appealing. I don’t want to work in/shop in (I live in Ypsi) some sanitized Levittown.
posted by Laura on January 5th, 2004 at 1:02 amI rather like them. They’re far more comfortable than patio furniture.
So here’s a question - how do these hippie types who decorate their houses in bizarre fashions affect property values? Is it actually possible that they lower prices of surrounding houses but raise house prices overall by being one of those “intangibles” that make the area seem cool and eclectic?
posted by ann arbor is overrated on January 5th, 2004 at 1:15 amInteresting question. Three people to ask: the owners of the house at Spring and Cherry, near the “big city small world” bakery, who’ve strung up (now-tattered) Tibetan prayer flags, the homeowners across the street from this house on Spring who has a 1930s-era washing machine standing nonchalantly in his/her front yard and a variety of other period junk lying about, and the fanatical junk-collector on Fourth at Kingsley whose cool & iconic life-size police figurine cutout “stop!” sign was stolen sometime a year or two ago. Addresses approximate. I personally enjoy all three bits of individuality.
posted by Laura on January 5th, 2004 at 2:01 amWell, just to play devil’s advocate, I bought in a neighborhood where I’m not really psyched about the idea of moldy couches on porches, or cars parked in the front yard, or ramshackle houses, peeling paint, rotting fire escapes, or any of the other things bad-landlord things usually associated with student areas. I want to live somewhere where it looks like people take care of their properties because I spend a lot of time and money taking care of mine and am something of a believer in the broken window theory (one broken window starts to signal to people that anything goes and things start to deteriorate, and it encourages people to let things go and may even encourage crime). BUT, for that reason I didn’t move into a student neighborhood! Had I bought in the grad student ghetto, I’d have been completely ready for counches on porches.
posted by Anna on January 5th, 2004 at 10:06 amAnd thus Anna starts the long slow march toward the psychic Fourth Ward.
posted by js on January 5th, 2004 at 12:41 pmjs
Ahh yes, well, I suppose not all of us can aspire to mediocrity with such consistency.
posted by Anna on January 5th, 2004 at 5:19 pmHow long can you leave a couch outside in Michigan and still be able to sit on it? Don’t they get damp and smelly? I’ve never had a couch I could leave outside
posted by Hillary on January 5th, 2004 at 7:00 pmIt seems to me that some budding entrepreneur with a bent for marketing and a head for polymer chemistry should develop some sort of All-Weather Porch Couch that would resist mildew and weatherstaining. There’s a pretty penny to be made there.
posted by Boris on January 5th, 2004 at 11:31 pmI suppose if mediocrity’s taken, hypocracy always works in its stead…
posted by js on January 6th, 2004 at 10:19 amAs for Hillary’s query: about two months. I lived on Mary Court for a summer sublet, and we ended up with a really nice couch that would neither fit on the porch nor through the door. So, we covered it with tarps when it rained, and otherwise enjoyed lovely lawn seating. However, even with our precautions, the damn thing began to rot at about the second month in. While there were jokes about removing the couch East Lansing style, we eventually just marched it down Packard until we found a construction dumpster and ditched it in there.
That’s hilarious! I’m sure you guys are the first people ever to do anything like that in AA!
posted by Anna on January 6th, 2004 at 11:32 amYes, Anna, we were not only the first to ever have a couch on our lawn in Ann Arbor, but also the first anywhere in the world. Pioneers, us, we marched boldly where no one had ever tread before. Why, even Mucho Gusto would admire the drastic change that our (heh heh) “lawn furniture” brought to the city. We were offered medals, but declined them. “It is enough,” we said, “to birth the idea of a lawn couch to the world. Our kudos may be simply found on every campus across the land, as brave souls with couches to spare follow our leads.”
posted by js on January 6th, 2004 at 12:10 pmI’m sorry, in recounting this nostolgiac triumph, I’m getting a bit choked up. Perhaps some shrill condescention from a Yalie can help steel my resolve to face the day, and not wallow in past glory.
Can’t say I’m such a fan of the idea that discarded furniture and appliances add invaluable character to one’s home - if the rural-Kentucky lifestyle really appeals to you, that’s fine, but it shouldn’t cost you $900/mo. An earlier post suggests that this can add a lively, irreverent, youthful aspect to a neighborhood - well, um, Ann Arbor is not a lively or irreverent place. It’s a deathly boring suburban town with lots of trash not getting picked up.
posted by Nick on January 6th, 2004 at 5:24 pmDon’t get me started on those B-Schoolers and their semester’s worth of unread Wall Street Journals littering the yards….
posted by Chris on January 8th, 2004 at 11:41 amfucking idiots….
you think you are smart, well i’m a dutchman and i love weed
.
posted by Anonymous on January 20th, 2004 at 2:34 am